Soggy Granola Mom

Finally Feeling at Peace

2011-10-01T13:53:00.019-05:00

So there's egg on my face and I really don't care. I had to let go of my petty feelings. I made a mistake. I had to admit that. Then I had to try my best to fix it.

Doodle had a great year in Kindergarten last year. The only downside was our drive. And driving is one of my least favorite things. It makes me very anxious. Especially when there is snow on the ground. And, truthfully, I am not the best driver. So I made the decision, over the summer, to transfer her to a closer school. Switching to this other school saved me ten minutes each way. Which amounts to chauffeuring forty minutes less per school day. Also, the closer school, starts twenty minutes later in the morning. Giving us thirty glorious minutes of extra sleep each morning. (We aren't morning people here.)

It seemed like a wonderful second option, but then school started. And it became glaringly obvious, with each passing day, that the only advantages at the new school were the ones mentioned above. And they are truly selfish benefits. Selfish benefits which are easy to forfeit now that I know what's at stake. I really want school to be a positive experience for Miss Doodle. Last year there were no concerns, she did very well and she had classmates who treated her well. Almost everyday there was a new concern or problem at the closer school. It was causing a huge amount of stress for myself, my husband, and our daughter.

We were told that the two curriculums were the same, but they aren't really. Or, at least, the way the curriculums are implemented is drastically different. Miss Doodle was taught and assessed on 100 Chinese characters in Kindergarten. The Kindergartners at the closer school had been taught and assessed on 150. Also Miss Doodle was in a half day program last year. The closer school has no half day option, so they were all immersed in Chinese for hours longer, each day in Kindergarten. This made it so that she was behind in their program.* We were trying to catch up and even hired a tutor. We were also working with her as much as possible at home. Unfortunately, being behind was not the only problem. If it had been we would have stuck it out and she would have eventually caught up.

Another concern was the class size. At the closer school her class was made up of twenty-eight students. At the other school she is in a class of nineteen.

I, naively, didn't realize how much she would be singled out because of being new. It’s first grade, not middle school. I thought we were still safe because only one year had passed. Wrong! There were students sitting at her table (Whatever happened to having your own desk?) who were treating her very poorly. For instance, calling her artwork ugly. And when confronted by the teacher about this behavior the one girl lied saying, “I was saying something nice about it to her in Chinese and she didn’t understand.” Um, no. Miss Doodle was sure that she had said it was ugly in English. After believing the lies, the teacher had no plans to move her to a new table, as we had requested. There was also an incident where a group of girls started being mean to her after she made the comment that she doesn’t believe in a deity. And those examples are just a small sampling of the mistreatment she was receiving there.

We also felt that the teacher was singling her out. She kept saying she didn’t want it to become a snowball effect, but it felt like the teacher kept making the snowball larger. She even put Miss Doodle on a listening chart, because she felt she wasn’t paying attention enough. Maybe she wasn’t, but give the girl some time to adjust to the new school and new words that she doesn’t understand. Of course, Miss Doodle was doing great as soon as she was put on the chart. So did she really need to be on a chart? Or did she just need some understanding and time to settle in? Then as soon as she was paying attention well the teacher started complaining that Doodle wasn’t participating frequently enough. It was getting ridiculous. Every day a new issue to work on.

Another issue which I thought was figured out before the transfer was the High Potential program. They assured me that Doodle would be in their gifted & talented program, as she was going to be at the other school. Then once school started the person in charge of that program changed her tune. Saying that she’d have to talk to the teacher. I was very upset by this because I was adamant with them on this point, saying I would not transfer her until I got a definite answer. And I know that the Regime felt that it was a deal breaker as well.

Obviously, I was really hoping the switch would work out because it was more convenient for our family, but I am willing to put up with the extra inconvenience when it means a better situation for my daughter. Switching her back wasn’t a totally altruistic decision though. All of these school issues were very hard on my marriage. The Regime was angry, to put it lightly. And guess who was responsible and to blame, yep, me. All me. I assure you that he had no problem directing all of his frustrations in my direction. I am glad to report that he is much calmer now. And after Doodle's first day of going back to last year’s school she said, “I feel like I am back home.” That says it all.

*Why they didn't think to assess her until after school started still boggles my mind. If they'd done it before we would've known not to transfer her. I even had one lady at the closer school tell me that she might have to go back to Kindergarten. Seriously. This girl tested very well on the NWEAs and IQ test and you are going to suggest that. Ludicrous. At that point I responded with, "No. I would switch her back."

Here and There In All Sorts of Weather

2010-11-20T22:49:00.007-06:00

Last Saturday my sister Cassie, and my mom made the trek to snowy Minnesota. As luck would have it, they were followed in by a cold, black cloud. The sky decided to dump inches and inches of wet, heavy* snow on the exact morning that they were scheduled to arrive. It was our first snow of the season. Just a few days beforehand we had been enjoying a balmy high of 68 degrees. (Looks like we won't see that again until spring.)

Due to the snowstorm they were unable to land once they arrived in Minnesota. So the plane had to turn around and go back to Wisconsin. They landed in Milwaukee to refuel before trying to land at the Minneapolis airport again. Fortunately, the second attempt was a success and they were here safe, just a few hours later than originally expected.

After picking them up at the airport we made a trip to the Mall of America where we ate a late lunch, did a little shopping, and had fun testing makeup, perfume, and nail polish at Sephora.**

On Sunday we decided to check out the Waterpark of America. (I managed to get four free tickets in the summer, and I'd been saving them up for a special day.) I found out that the water park isn't open as often as I'd originally thought.# And Sunday was our only option. So we had a great, albeit quick visit to the water park. It was loads of fun. For most of us. Not so much for my mom. That black cloud of misfortune was still following her. My mom's dog of thirteen years was failing. In fact he wasn't doing well before she left, and she'd taken him to a vet ahead of her leaving town. The vet had misdiagnosed his condition. He'd told her it was bronchitis, when it was actually heart failure. Thankfully my other two (awesome!) sisters were there with him when he passed. Thanks again to both of them for being there for mom, and for Daggle. He was a wonderful, smart dog, and he will be greatly missed. (By me, as well. After all, he was the puppy I had to have. And I helped train him and care for him before I got married, and moved out.)

On Monday evening we enjoyed a delicious dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's home. My mom was very glad to spend some quality time with her older brother and her sister-in-law. Thanks again to Marv and Deb for their hospitality.

On Tuesday, we received a visit from my Aunt Deb and her daughter (my cousin), and her kids. My cousin also has two little girls. Bug and her oldest are only two days apart. So they had a great time playing upstairs in our toy room.

Tuesday night was a scheduled facial for me, and my sister at the Aveda Institute. It was better than wonderful. And I left feeling über relaxed, and happy. (I really need to treat myself to such pampering more often.) Luckily, the night was still young when we got back. So The Regime and I enjoyed an opportunity to go on a date. (First time in many months.) Thanks again to my mom and sister for watching the girls for us.

(Can you spot the one who wasn't in a picture taking mood?)

Wednesday was their departure day. We had to drop our guests off at the airport right before getting Miss Doodle to her afternoon Kindergarten class. But before sending them on their way, we squeezed in an important hair appointment that morning. Miss Doodle had been growing her hair out for two years. She'd wanted to donate it to Locks of Love for some time. Her hair was finally long enough, and she really wanted to cut it during their visit. She got a super cute bob, and I couldn't be prouder of her. She is such a kind and thoughtful girl. After the hair cut we enjoyed brunch at The Original Pancake House. The restaurant serves gluten free pancakes which my mom, who is allergic to wheat, was able to enjoy. I was glad that, although a black cloud had followed them in, they were able to leave amidst sunny skies.

*The snow was so heavy that tree branches all around were cracking and falling to the ground. Including the very large pile of evergreen branches that landed in our front yard.

**This happens to be one of Auntie Cass's favorite stores. I'm sure my fancy girlie girls can understand why.

#They were only open from 10 am - 2 pm on Sunday, and were closed all day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Better Luck Next Time

2010-11-07T22:31:00.012-06:00

Saying goodbye is never easy. Today's farewell was no exception. We returned Teddy the dog to the rescue group. I was crying quite a lot, and continue to. It was difficult, and I'm sad.

Although we only had him for two and a half months, I got attached. When I adopted him in August, I had hoped that ours would be his forever home. Of course at that time I was under the impression that he was house trained. After he was here I started finding pee everywhere. On Bug's toddler bed, on the bath mat, on books, on the floor, on clothes, etc. I never once caught him in the act. Always found it after the fact, which made it hard to show him that it wasn't okay. He would also poop on the floor from time to time. Most of the time that he was living with us he had to be gated off in the living room, because I couldn't trust him anywhere. He would never bark to go outside so I would always let him out at regular intervals, hoping to avoid a mess. I even tried to teach him with a bell but he wouldn't go near it.

The truth is that I get distracted by the kids (mostly the crazy two year old), a lot. And we are busier than ever now that school is in session. (Did I mention that we have to drive about twenty minutes just to get to school?) So I wasn't feeling up for the challenge. It also seems like I lack the discipline needed to get Teddy to stop his behavior. I kept thinking he was doing better and then he would prove me all wrong.

My husband is not a dog person. Absolutely not. I often tell him, jokingly, that he was a cat in his last life. Maybe he was and he's held on to the animosity. Deep down I had hoped that Teddy would be the dog to change his mind. The one to push him over to the other side. Of course, he absolutely was not. A dog would have to have absolutely zero behavior problems, and even then it probably wouldn't change his opinion. He just thinks that dogs are stinky, filthy and gross. And having one that peed and pooped in the house regularly only strengthened this argument. (Not at all what I was aiming for.)

I grew up having pets. Always a cat and a dog. As well as some shorter lived experiences with animals like fish, a guinea pig, and mice. The Regime on the other hand grew up in an apartment with no furry pets. (Turns out he had fish at one time.) I am sure this is the reason for our differing points of view.

Since I had pets and enjoyed them during my childhood, I wanted my kids to have pets and enjoy them too. So far I am striking out in that department, and I'm scared to try again. I know that my husband doesn't see it like I do. He believes it is unethical to own a pet. And I know that he likes cats much better than dogs. In fact we had a cat for five years, earlier in our marriage and he seemed to like her fine. Or at least he didn't complain about her presence all of the time, and refuse to sit anywhere she'd sat.

But you never know. Maybe one day far in the future, once I've lost my mind again, and accidentally wandered onto Petfinder, I'll stumble across that perfect pet. And hopefully I'll be smart enough to only look at the cats.

Huge Sigh of Relief

2010-11-06T12:18:00.008-05:00

When I called Wednesday morning to get some answers, I asked if I could get an appointment this week. Fortunately, someone cancelled their Friday afternoon appointment with the doctor I see. And the timing was perfect because I could drop Miss Doodle off at school, and still have enough time to get there. So I snatched it up. I still hadn't heard anything back after my last test, and I didn't want to wait two more weeks for the appointment, which I had scheduled before the MRIs were done. (Also my mom and sister will be visiting at that time. Who wants to go to the doctor when they have company in town?)

Turns out it was just a big scare. No real reason to worry. I found out that the anatomy of my brain is slightly different from the norm. I have an extra blood vessel. This is what caused the first MRI to look off. The doctor also mentioned that the way one of my sinuses is situated added to the confusion. Fortunately for me they were able to get a better look with the MRA, and I'm in the clear.

Phew! I really lucked out. I'm so happy I don't have to think about it anymore, and I don't have to have more tests or procedures.

Now to get back to cleaning my house. My mom and sister will be here in one short week!

Lying in Wait

2010-11-02T23:10:00.012-05:00

As they say, "No news, is good news." And in my case it seems to be true.

When I talked with my doctor last week she informed me that they aren't worried about the cyst. It is small, benign, and they don't think it is causing my headaches. Therefore they're going to let it be.

They were still concerned with the irregular blood vessel. So I had to have another MRI. To be more specific it is called an MRA. It allows them to get a better picture of the blood vessels.

I had my appointment last Friday and it was even easier than the first MRI. It only took ten minutes or so, and I didn't have to have an IV. Piece of cake. And I thought it was fitting when the song, "Chasing Cars" came on while I had to, well, just lay there.

I still haven't heard from my doctor about the results of this test. So I have to assume that there is nothing major going on in my brain. Of course I'm still curious about the results. I meant to call today, but was too busy. Looks like a phone call to the doctor's office is on the top of my to do list for tomorrow.

In other news, my mom and sister are coming to visit in two weeks.

Fear and Waiting in Minnesota

2010-10-22T22:31:00.008-05:00

Many of my friends and family are wondering what's going on with me. They are eagerly awaiting an update. They want to know more.

First of all, that makes me realize that there are numerous people in my life who are looking out for me, concerned about my welfare. I am truly thankful to have all of these supportive people in my life.

Second, I totally understand the feeling. After all it is my brain. So I'd love nothing more than to have the answers. I just want to know already. Dang it.

Unfortunately, the waiting continues. They never called to schedule the next test. So I spoke with my doctor yesterday. She is still waiting for the neurologist's advice. And it just so happens that he's on vacation this week. She assured me that she will discuss my MRI results with him on Monday, and call me afterwards to discuss the next step.

One friend gave the advice that I simply shouldn't think about it. I think she is right, and I am doing my best to stay busy and keep it out of my thoughts. Fortunately, I have plenty of distractions around here, and my calendar this week has been full of happy visits with friends and family.

I've also had many people tell me stories of people they know, who are just fine, who have dealt with similar medical issues. Which has helped me feel better. I think most of my fear on Tuesday, when I received the news, was due to the fact that I was absolutely clueless.

My husband also tells me that nothing has changed. Aside from the fact that the doctors (and all of you) now know about the cyst and the blood vessels that don't look quite right. Who knows how long I've had the cyst? I also wonder how many people are walking around with cysts or weird blood vessels in their brains, but they just don't know it.

I am staying positive and hoping that all of this uncertainty will pay off in the end. It would be wonderful to have an end to the seemingly endless headaches. And if it was extremely serious I'd expect that they would've sent me to the hospital, or at the very least, they would've scheduled more tests already. If the paid professionals aren't too worried, I'll try my best not to be either.

The Phone Call

2010-10-19T19:43:00.007-05:00

At my last doctor's appointment, before my MRI was scheduled, my doctor informed me that I would get a call with the results afterwards. She said that if everything looked good, then I would get a call from the staff where I had the MRI. On the flip side, if things didn't look quite right, I'd be receiving a call from her or her nurse.

On Friday, after the procedure was finished, the MRI tech asked me if I had a follow-up appointment. Which I do. But it isn't until the middle of November. So I thought, maybe, I wouldn't find out the results until then. Yesterday passed, no news. Today passed, no news. So I had started to forget about the whole thing, thinking everything was fine and I'd talk to my doctor about it in a few weeks.

Today when I got home from picking Miss Doodle up at school I decided to leave the kids with the Regime so that I could go on a walk alone. Bug was acting like a ~~difficult~~ normal two year old all day. Which meant I was spent. And it was a perfect day for a walk. Sunny, blue skies, and around 60 degrees. I walked three wonderful miles. Along a wooded trail I even spotted a fox! I enjoyed (almost*) every minute of it.

A minute after I got in the door the phone rang. Caller ID said Park Nicollet. I felt a small wave of anxiety and then answered the phone. It was Dr. Moser. S#!%. I knew that if it was her the news was not going to be great.

Turns out that they found a cyst in my brain, and they are also concerned about some blood vessels which may indicate an aneurysm. They will be calling me in the next day or two to schedule another procedure so that they can get a closer look at the blood vessels in question. Wish me luck. And I'll keep you guys posted.

*I had to pick up after the dog. Twice. Eeeew.

In My Head

2010-10-14T22:52:00.008-05:00

What's in my head? (Besides the sound of Dolores O'Riordan singing a very similar line.) Tomorrow it will be known. They'll be taking a fancy, and expensive picture of my noggin in the morning.

I'm scheduled for an MRI. Why? Cause I've been having loads of annoying headaches. And I've been taking too much Ibuprofen, almost daily. Sometimes I get migraines, mostly not. Usually just plain old headaches. I also suffer from dizzy spells (of course, I've been having those, here and there, since high school) with no explanation. Most recently I had a migraine which lasted more than two weeks. It ended with a trip to Urgent Care and a shot of Imitrex. The night before my trip to Urgent Care, the headache was so extremely painful that it woke me from my sleep. I gave birth to two children with no drugs, and I can tell you that the headache was as painful as being in the later stages of labor.

At my last doctor's appointment I was prescribed Amitriptyline at a very low dose. It is supposed to help prevent tension headaches and migraines. So far it seems to be helping some. At the appointment she also prescribed the MRI, just to make sure everything is okay with my head. I mean to say, to make sure that everything is okay with the parts that can be seen.

This House Feels Like a Home

2010-10-05T21:36:00.021-05:00

It has actually been more than four months since our move. A move, which I really didn't think was going to happen. And I have a very hard time believing so much time has passed since we said goodbye to our townhouse. (I'm also in denial about which season we are in, by the way. And If I can't keep up with the months, how does anyone expect me to be on time? Mere minutes are simply impossible to keep track of.)

I'll confess. I fell in love. And all summer long I was head over heels in love. In love with our new place. I felt like I was home. Finally. I felt like, maybe, possibly this could be the house where my grandchildren would come to visit me. Perhaps it still will be. It's a nice thought. Moving is torture, and I may stay here for the rest of my days for that reason alone. And I probably should have gushed about our new house and cool neighborhood (minutes from uptown), before the honeymoon was over. But we were busy. Unpacking, going swimming, enjoying the splash pad, playing outside, adopting a dog, and swimming some more. It was a wonderfully fun, happy summer. And I'll never forget it.

Then September came, and with it the start of school. This is when I was forced into the full realization that our house is, well, um, not so close to Miss Doodle's elementary school. We are still eighteen minutes (or more, depending on traffic and lights) away from Miss Doodle's school. Ugh. Good thing I don't have anything else to do. And that she got afternoon Kindergarten.

Yes, I realize that an eighteen minute drive is way, way better than a forty-eight minute drive. And that we actually sold our townhouse, in an awful real estate market. So I will count my blessings, I won't complain, I promise.

Yet I'm still nervous about winter. Our townhouse had an attached two car garage. This is probably the thing I miss most. Our current home only has a one car detached. So if I survive winter, and it isn't too bad, then I'll probably continue to be smitten with our new digs.

And I'm sure that I wouldn't be too upset if we decided to switch Miss Doodle to the immersion school closer to home next year. Either way I've got to keep this love affair going, because I'm sure to be stuck here for a long time to come. Whether or not I like it, that is irrelevant.

The girls enjoying their ice cream in front of our house.

Thoughts Before the Move

2010-07-23T19:31:00.001-05:00

The following was written on May 22, 2010 (it was not posted previously due to extremely busy life conditions):

Wow. The past three months have been a roller coaster. And not always a fun one. Unfortunately I've felt like puking (literally) more often than I've had my hands up enjoying the ride.

In February, right around the time I last posted, (as mentioned here) we put our house on the market. I am extremely happy to say it is no longer on the market, because ~~if I would've had to get it showing ready, with two kids making a mess behind me, one more time I think I would've run away and never come back~~ it sold. I thought it was going to be impossible. Turns out it wasn't. And I am very thankful for our good fortune.

This time around we had 17 showings (which means I had to clean, clean, and clean some more), instead of just two. So we obviously priced it correctly, despite the feedback we received which said otherwise. And trust me, we went as low as we possibly could.

I had many days where I felt hopeless. There was a short sale on the market at the same time with a much lower price than ours. Fortunately, right before the end of April (and the tax credit deadline) our buyer came. We got the offer on April 22nd. They wanted to close on May 20th. Thankfully, we were able to convince them to give us another week in our townhouse.

Our big moving day is only five short days away. We are almost there! I am so happy to have an end to this adventure within my sight. And at the same time, I am frightened and scared about leaving our current home. We've been here for five and a half years, and it is the only home Miss Doodle or Bug have ever known. I feel comfortable and safe here. I wonder how long it will take to feel that way again.

We are moving to a one and a half story home in a suburb west of Minneapolis. We will be exactly halfway between the school in Minnetonka that Miss Doodle got into and Yinghua (were we remain #21 on the waiting list). I like that it leaves our options open, in case we do get into the other school. The area seems very nice and family friendly. We'll have a fenced in backyard and there is a playground less than a block away. So it all looks good on paper. I've got my fingers crossed that it will be good in reality too.

School Crush

2010-02-18T15:29:00.010-06:00

I found out about Yinghua Academy four years ago. I was very interested in it. I told the Regime about it. He was just as interested, if not more. I even called the school to see if we could be put on a waiting list. Miss Doodle was only 15 months old at the time. But I figured I should still try.

Unfortunately, they didn't have a waiting list like that. I was told at the time that it was first come, first serve when you apply. And that we couldn't apply until it was time to register her for Kindergarten. Okay. So I filed the information away. And in the meantime I found a place for Miss Doodle to take Chinese preschool classes.

Now here we are (already!) the spring before Miss Doodle starts school. The time to apply and register for next fall's school year. We applied last month. Last week they held the lottery to find out who got in. And for everyone else to find out their spot on the waiting list.

When I inquired, I found out that they had received 152 applications for 75 available Kindergarten spots. Thirty of those were automatically in, before the lottery. (Because they have either a sibling in Yinghua or a parent who teaches there.) This meant that there were 45 available spots for the remaining 122 applicants. About a 1 in 3 chance. The odds weren't in our favor. We did not get in. We are currently #26 on their waiting list. (As the Regime noted, it could be much worse. There are 50 people after us on the list.)

They keep informing us that there is a good chance that we will move up on the list. Many people apply to several schools, and then decide later on which one they want. Right now they have sent out the registration forms to all of the families that got in. They have three weeks to fill out the forms and return them. So next month we should have an even better idea of where we are on the waiting list. Hopefully we will have moved up some. But truthfully we may not get in at all, or we may not find out until next fall or later if we do finally get in.

Considering the fact that our house goes on the market today, this makes me anxious. We still really want to get into Yinghua, but it may not happen. And where we move all depends on where Miss Doodle is going to school next year.

The silver lining is that we also open enrolled to the Hopkins and Minnetonka school districts. They both have Chinese Immersion programs as well. Hopkins was our third choice. I haven't even applied for XinXing Academy because they have a $50 processing fee. And we've already found out about Minnetonka. The other bad thing about XinXing Academy is that it would have cost us $3,550 for the Kindergarten school year. (Ouch!) That's because it's an all day program. (Yinghua also has all day Kindergarten, but there is no charge for it.)

So we got our bad news last Thursday. After the lottery I felt so sad. I was mopey for a few days after. It reminded me of how I felt as a young girl when I would get a crush on someone. And when whomever I was crushing on, had either made it obvious that they weren't interested in me, or started dating someone else. All hope of happily ever after dashed. I felt broken hearted in a way. After all we'd had our heart set on Yinghua for a very long time.

Then on Saturday, we received our approved application to Minnetonka. I have mixed feelings about it. They have a half day Kindergarten program there and Miss Doodle is assured a spot in it. So no guessing. I wonder if half day might be a better fit for Miss Doodle. And Minnetonka schools are very well rated. The area is beautiful, but also expensive. Would we be able to find an affordable home there? And the commute might be a headache for the Regime. But overall it seems like it might work well for us. Maybe it's the direction we are supposed to go in.

Dreaming of a Balmy Future

2010-02-17T22:51:00.009-06:00

Today felt almost springlike. And it made me realize just how badly I am yearning for warmer days. It's February folks. If you know me well, then you know that I hate February. It is definitely my least favorite month.

It's the point where you can really feel that winter has majorly overstayed it's welcome. My skin alone is begging for a break. I feel like I could bathe in vats of lotion and I'd still be cracked and dry. And if I get any paler I'll be translucent. Although February is the shortest month, it feels as if it's the longest. I'm ready for it to end, knowing full well that March ushers in the end of my twenties. (Yes, that's right. I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks. *~~wrinkly~~ sad face*)

Fortunately the month is already half over. And the rest of the month is sure to pass by quickly. Especially for me. We met with our new Realtor on Saturday. We are listing our house this week. They took pictures today. (Let's hope none of them land us a spot on this site.) The listing should be up on the MLS tomorrow.

Fortunately, this real estate agent uses a different commission scale. So we were able to lower our listing price, in order to make it more marketable. Maybe this time around will end in a successful sale. At the very least, more than two fruitless showings in three months, which is all we had the last time we listed it.

We'd love to get in on the tax credit. We would qualify for a $6500 tax credit if we get this place sold and find another home within the allotted time. (Yes, I will keep dreaming. Until nightmarish reality wakes me from my sweet slumber.)

You may be wondering where we plan to move. That is a really great question. I wish I knew the answer. I mean I really, really do. I am so impatient. It makes me crazy that I don't know which direction my life is heading in. I am working on staying present and taking everything one day at a time. I am sure everything will work out. Somehow. And yet, I am still frustrated by the uncertainty.

Glad That's Over With

2010-01-20T07:00:00.007-06:00

Wow. It's good to be writing. I was just trying to get back into a routine, when misery struck. Last Wednesday I woke up not feeling too great. Which quickly turned into feeling as if I were dying. (Or wished I would.)

The Regime was very busy at work that day. But he had to come home early. I could not care for the kids. I was totally unable to do my job. Big Sister Doodle helped out a lot. But she can't do everything, she's only five. And to add to my problems, Bug was in a bad mood. Crying at me for not getting up to help her. She totally didn't get it. I guess Mom is not allowed to get sick.

I lost five pounds in five hours. (Yes, it was just water weight and has almost all come back.) I don't know where all the liquid was coming from. I wasn't drinking or eating anything and yet it wouldn't stop. I was groaning on the bathroom floor wishing for an end to the chills, vomiting, and intestinal problems.(Or as Ewan McGregor put it while his friend was sick, on the show "Long Way Down": "Charley's definitely not farting with confidence today. Absolutely not."*)

Unfortunately, when you are feeling awful time goes by sickeningly slow. Fortunately, I did have my husband home to help and could rest as much as I needed and that definitely helped. It also helped that it was over within 24 hours.

I was very weak the next day and it took a while to get my appetite back, but the chills and sickness were gone and that made a huge difference. Good thing too, because I had to be back on duty. The Regime had contracted the nasty virus. It was hard to see him so sick, knowing how miserable he felt and being unable to do anything to make it better. (Though it did give him some more understanding. Maybe misery is good for teaching us sympathy?) Fortunately Miss Doodle never got it. (What a lucky girl she is!) And I think Bug is the one who gave it to us. She had puked a few times a few days before I got sick. But her case of it was very mild. Only lasted a couple of hours. And I'm glad they didn't have it like us. I would've had a hard time seeing them like that.

I am also glad it happened last week and not now. Because my sister had to come to Minnesota for work. She just got done working yesterday and we went to pick her up so that she can stay with us until she flies home on Saturday. So this week is looking a ~~hundred~~ thousand times better than last! The girls just love Auntie Cass! I'll give you all a full recap of our visit when I get a chance.

Until then, stay well. Wash your hands. You do not want this stomach flu, and it is really making the rounds. (The majority of my friends have had it as their facebook status.)

***Sorry, no pictures this time. Of course, you should be happy about that. What would I give you as a photo, the porcelain god I was doing obeisance too?***

*If you haven't seen "Long Way Round" or "Long Way Down" I would recommend them. We really enjoyed watching Ewan and Charley go round the world on their "motorbikes."

Starting Over from the Beginning

2010-01-12T21:53:00.009-06:00

If you know anything about me, you should know that I love the show LOST. Don't ask me why. I just do.

So when the Regime suggested watching all of the episodes on Hulu, I was all for it. Unfortunately, we are running out of time. We'd like to be all caught up in time for the season premiere, but the final season (insert loud crying sound here) begins on February 2nd.

So I'm watching an episode while I write this. And I'll likely be getting way too little sleep for the next few weeks. In my opinion it's totally worth it.

Searching for Self-Discipline

2010-01-06T15:19:00.006-06:00

Since it's the appropriate time for resoluteness, I've decided to work on a few things.

Namely this list:

1. Write more. This includes working on ideas for a novel, blogging, and filling up my journal.
2. Eat less. Exercise more. (Repeat, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Try to believe it.)
3. Work on time management issues. (i.e. try to be on time for once)
4. Practice and learn more about photography.
5. Stay in the moment. Relax and enjoy.

Of course I'm sure there are many more issues that need resolving (maybe you can think of a few for me), but this is all I feel like tackling for now.

Lucky Number 350

2009-10-24T20:44:00.006-05:00

Today was the International Day of Climate Action. There were more than 5,000 demonstrations all around the world. All based on the number 350.

What does 350 have to do with anything? The concentrations of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere need to be at or below 350 parts per million, or there's going to be hell to pay.

Currently we are at 390 ppm and rising. Rapidly. If we don't all make changes (big or small) then it will only get worse. Scientific research says that there will be human and natural disasters as a result of our carelessness. So now is the time. Now. Not tomorrow. Not next month. Not next year. Now.

To check out some cool pics from some of today's demonstrations, click here.

Melancholy Melanie

2009-10-23T14:17:00.002-05:00

As I peer out the window, the black patio chairs are being covered. Covered with big wet flakes. I can barely see the tips of the green grass. Most everything is white out there. Except for the beautiful oranges, reds, and yellows still hanging onto the trees. Quite an odd combination. If I was in charge, it wouldn't even think of snowing until all of the tree branches were bare, brown and in need of some clean white stuff.

Unfortunately it isn't the first time it has snowed this year. It's the fourth. (But who's counting?) This is definitely the worst October recorded in my memory. There have been only a couple of pretty fall days this month. Otherwise its been all clouds, rain, cold temps, and snow. I hope this isn't a prediction of how intense the coming months are going to be. Maybe this is the worst of it. Maybe November will feel like October normally does, in order to make up for it. Maybe, but probably not. I just feel like I've got to hold out some hope. No matter how hopeless I feel. Perhaps mournful times like these are the most important for clinging on to my ~~delusional thoughts~~ daydreams.

I know I should be positive and write out a list of the 100 things I'm grateful for, why I love being a mom, what I love about Minnesota, etc. Should, but I'm not. (I'm too stubborn I guess. Maybe I could make that an assignment for a future post.) Right now, I just feel like bellyaching. Things just aren't peachy here. The past month has not been easy. Someone has had a sniffle, cough, or fever almost every day of the last month. Just when it seems one thing is gone, another illness strikes. Plus families are great at sharing germs, so just as one person gets well another falls ill.

I knew that once preschool started we would be inundated with germs. But I didn't think it would be quite this bad. I wonder if we'll ever see my in-laws again. We can't visit until all illness is completely gone. Because my mother-in-law has polymyositis, she's taking medicine to suppress her immune system. Which means it's really important for her to stay away from sick people. (We miss you guys! Send get well and stay healthy vibes over our way.)

I've decided it's not my month. Cause I also managed to lose my driver's license at the mall this week. I put it in my pocket and when I got home it was no longer there. And I don't remember putting it anywhere else, so it must have fallen out. I've got my fingers crossed that someone found it, and has, or is going to mail it to me. (Now I'm daydreaming that my license will be delivered to my mailbox tomorrow.)

Nothing has happened with our house. Still no interest. But it looks as though selling in the spring will most likely be more advantageous for us anyhow. So I'm feeling alright with all of that. Let's hope they extend and expand that home buyer credit.

Another thing that happened this month, was with a different grandfather, same hospital. My mom's dad (a.k.a. Grandaddy) fell fast asleep in his tall kitchen chair, and managed to fall out of it. Fortunately, my uncle was at his house when it happened. Grandaddy got banged up pretty badly so he is still recovering in the hospital. But the good news is that he should be okay.

Let's hope I've hit bottom, and the only way to move on is to go up from here. There must be sunny days ahead. When I find them I'll let you know and I won't take them for granted. Not at all. I'll soak in every ray of sunshine possible.

Cookies Make Everything Better

2009-09-24T16:22:00.002-05:00

So much for my big plans. I guess I'll just scrap that idea. It turns out that having a set day makes it even harder for me to write. It was starting to feel more like an assignment than a hobby.

So from now on I'll try to write when the mood strikes and I have the time. In my life this is an elusive combination. (Either I have the opportunity and no desire, or I have the desire and no opportunity.) Unfortunately, I haven't been excited about writing lately. I guess I'm in a funk. I'm sad, unmotivated, and feeling really, really lonely. I need more real, live, fun, happy-go-lucky, and there-for-you friends, outside of this computer. (I have a couple good ones, but somehow it doesn't feel like enough. I'm needy like that.) And I know that if my mom was here she would retort with, "To have a friend, you have to be a friend." (I always hated it when she would say that.) Now I hear it in my head all of the time, and I hate it cause it's true. And because it is very challenging for me. I don't have the skills. I don't know how to be a good friend, and balance everything else in my life.

Sometimes I think I miss having religion in my life. I miss the social aspect of it. It felt like a big family, most of the time. I miss the picnics, weddings, parties, and other social events. I miss having something to get dressed up for. (I know my husband doesn't miss any of that, but I sure do.) I've thought about looking for a new religious community. But I don't even know where to start with that. And I'm scared.

Yes, I realize that I should make an appointment to see a psychologist. I think it might help. But I have no desire to go through the harrowing process of finding a decent psychologist. From where I stand, it's a Catch-22.

I really wanted to update you guys on everything. Not just my mental, and social issues. After all you guys might be wondering about our house for sale, the status of my "beauuuutiful fat belly," Teeny Greenies, or the worm bin I started a while back.

"Our House is a Very, Very, Very Fine House"

As far as the house, nothing to report. The market is stagnant for us. We've had the house on the market for more than a month, and only one uneventful showing. I've heard other people have had some luck in this market, but not us. Before we listed it I was hopeful, but not anymore. We thought maybe we'd get a first time buyer who was looking to get the tax credit. Seems doubtful now, since closing would have to take place before December 1st in order for them to qualify for the credit. Perhaps the buyers out there are looking for a better deal than we are able to give. The realtor talked us in to listing it for more than I thought we should, so we'll probably have to lower our listing price.

I'm Still Working at It

My summer membership at the local community center is over. I used it plenty and was glad to have it, but couldn't really afford to keep it at the regular price. (They had a great summer deal.) So now it's back to walking outside more, using our treadmill, and exercise videos On Demand. I feel like I'm in better shape than I was at the beginning of the summer, even if the scale refuses to budge. What can I say I ~~live to~~ love to eat.

Worms are Friends, Flies are Not

The worm bin is okay. It has been relegated to the garage. It doesn't smell the best. Worst of all the worms aren't the only critters eating my garbage. I feel like I'm breeding fruit flies. So I think there is a good chance that the worms will have to go. Cause from what I read (maybe I should read a little more) the fruit flies are a given. I'm disappointed, but I can't have fruit flies swarming my house. Especially while it's on the market.

Give and Take

I'm still the Volunteer Coordinator for Teeny Greenies. We could definitely use more help. So if you or anyone you know would be interested, pass our info along to them. Right now there are loads of people willing to try cloth diapers, and a waiting list to prove it. Unfortunately, there aren't as many people lining up to help out with the cause. So right now the founder is thinking of ways to make the system run smoother. It sounds like she is going to switch from the waiting list to a first come, first serve lending library. We'll also be having a Cloth Diaper Info Session at the Hamline Midway Library coming up sometime in October.

Finally Some Good News

My search has ended. I have finally found (after many years and countless botched attempts) a chocolate chip cookie recipe for keeps. (My first attempt wasn't great. Make sure you use unsalted butter, and I only used regular semisweet morsels with no problems.) I've always loved to bake, but have never been very talented with cookies, until now.

The Next Day

2009-09-09T21:30:00.007-05:00

On Friday, August 28th we made it to the hospital well before noon. Noon was the time that the family was to meet with my grandfather's physicians in order to discuss his fate.

The room was filled to the brim. Including his doctors, two children, four grandchildren, one great granddaughter,* and a dear wife of sixty-one years. During the meeting my grandfather's failing condition was discussed. As well as what he would want, and what the family thought was best.

It was decided that after they removed the breathing tube they would only provide hospice care. No more tubes or respirators. The doctors would not interfere, aside from administering morphine when he was in pain. Nature would be allowed to run its course. The doctors told us it could take five minutes, five hours, or five days. Only time would tell.

We all went in to see him before the breathing tubes were removed. (I hope I'm so lucky, to have all of my family surrounding me and supporting me when I am near my end.) It was very emotional. We all knew that this might be the last time that we'd see him alive. He was unable to talk due to the tubes in his mouth, nose and throat. I told him again how much I loved him, how happy I was to have the chance to visit him, and that he had always been a good grandpa. Followed by a "take it easy" and "see you later." (I did not want to say goodbye.)

That meeting was followed by hours of anxious waiting in the hospital waiting room, where I had been left alone with the Bug, who was sleeping on me, while the rest of my family went down to the cafeteria. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. I tried to read, but couldn't. I tried to stop feeling sad, but couldn't. I tried to stop the tears from coming. (Surprise, surprise.) I wasn't able to do that either.

Eventually we were told that the tubes were out, and that we could go back to visit with him again. It was nice to see him without the tubes and to hear his voice again. He seemed to be doing pretty well. He told my grandma, "Don't forget your pocketbook." Which made us all laugh, and my grandma assured him that she wouldn't forget it. Before I came in he had also been asking if the funeral home people were on their way. During this visit I told him again how much I loved him and how happy I was to be there with him. I held his hand. Right as I was saying my goodbye he squeezed my hand with a very strong grip. It almost seemed as if he didn't want to let it go. But unfortunately I had to get back to my girls, who were not allowed into the intensive care area. And with that I uttered once again, "I'll see you later." This time I actually felt relieved and believed I would see him later, because he was doing better than we all expected.

After this we were all in better spirits. He seemed strong and I felt that maybe he had a few more days left in him. So we ended up going with my sisters, my mom and my other grandfather out to eat dinner. After that I stopped at the hospital again and tried calling my dad and step mom. I couldn't get a hold of anyone and the three of us (the kids and me) were all pretty tired and had already been at the hospital for most of the day. So we didn't even get out of the car. I just decided to drive back up to my sister's house for the night and planned to come visit with my grandpa again in the morning.

When I got to my sister's house I noticed that my cell phone was almost out of power, so I plugged it in. What I didn't realize is that it had shut off with out me knowing it. I only discovered this the next day, after my sister noticed, and listened to a message from dad on her phone. As it turned out, he had left a similar message on my phone. Early Saturday morning, around 1 a.m. our Grandpa passed away peacefully after 88 years of life.

*The Bug was very clingy and tired at this time, and I didn't want to leave my sister-in-law alone with four kids under the age of five. Yikes!

Home Sweet Home

2009-08-27T22:39:00.010-05:00

Note: The following post was written on Thursday, August 27, 2009. While I was still in Virginia. The craziness that ensued is the reason for why I am just now getting around to publishing it. More than a week later on this Saturday, September 5th, 2009.
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Everytime I come to Virginia, I feel at home. I think I will miss my hometown until the day I die. Or the day I return. (Whichever comes first.) Maybe I'll get lucky and retire out here.

I'd like a house with a beautiful view of the valley and lots of trees all around. That would be ideal.

You should see the place where my sister lives. She was kind enough to let us stay with her. It's so beautiful. It's (literally) on top of a mountain. With an elevation of 2,260 feet. The view is awesome. The stars at night are great too. The only hard part is the drive up. Narrow, winding, vertical roads through the woods. Which I had the pleasure of driving in my sister's Prius. (I'm beyond jealous. I totally want one.)

Here is the view of Appalachia (yes, that's West Virginia in the distance) from her kitchen window. (And no, my photography skills do not do it justice.):

I think that there is no cure for it. I'll forever be a country mouse. (Married to a city mouse.) But I know that living in the Twin Cities will give my children lots of opportunities that they wouldn't have in a small town. As my dad said jokingly, "If you want to stay here we can teach you how to speak West Virginian instead of Mandarin." (The Mandarin Immersion program we are hoping to get the kids into is a big part of wanting to stay in Minnesota. It's also the reason for why we have our house up for sale right now; Miss Doodle starts Kindergarten next year.)

At any rate I am extremely grateful to be here right now. I am soaking it up. For I don't know when I'll be back again. I must stay in the moment and enjoy every second of it.

I am also very thankful that I made it in time. I got to see my grandfather today. I was able to tell him how much I love him and to thank him for being such a good grandpa. I also got to hug my grandma and comfort her.

While I was in the hospital room, the doctor came in and talked with my grandma. He said there is a tough decision to be made. They are planning to take out the breathing tube. And it needs to be decided how long the family wants to prolong the inevitable.

The Case of the Missing Writer

2009-08-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

So you are probably all thinking, "Oh, she joined Facebook. Now we'll never hear from her again. She spends every extra moment there, and she is thoroughly and helplessly addicted."

That is only partly true. I did get sucked in at first. And I still check it from time to time. But it really isn't the reason I haven't written lately. Honest. My life has been insane for the month of August. I've been derailed on lots of personal projects, but I'm trying to get back on track. So here I am, after a few weeks of hiatus.

So what have I been up to? Cleaning, purging, cleaning, organizing, and cleaning some more. Getting your house market ready is loads of work. We met with our real estate agents again last night and signed ~~our lives away~~ the paperwork to put our house up for sale. So we are doing it. Starting the hellish process of trying to sell our townhouse in a buyer's market. (Wish us luck, pray for us, think of us, send good vibes into the universe for us, or something...whatever you do, do it.)

So that's a really big thing that is going on this month. But guess what? (You probably already guessed it.) That's not all.

My grandfather was in the hospital with pneumonia again. And it has really weakened him. So I am headed, with my two girls in tow, to Virginia next Wednesday.

Last week was the week of the migraine. It really wiped me out for much of the week. I think it's my body's way of forcing me to lay down and get some sleep.

And now my car is in the shop. But it just needed a battery. So that's not too bad. Although I'm convinced the transmission is having problems. Even if the people at the shop can't figure that one out. Time to find a second opinion or sell the car, I guess. Unfortunately for us the warranty just ended a few months ago, so if there are any major repairs it's all on us. (Part of why I'd like to get rid of it.)

Some days I do alright. Other days I feel like I'm one catastrophe away from a nervous breakdown. So I'll do my best to update everyone, but please forgive me if life gets in the way again. All of this madness is only temporary. (At least I hope!)

Tale of the Scale that Wouldn't Budge

2009-07-29T23:26:00.008-05:00

I've had my summer membership to the local community center for a month and a half now. So how am I doing? I've kept track of it and I've gone a total of twenty times over the past six weeks.

I also go for walks with the girls when it's just way too nice to be exercising indoors. Which means that I've been exercising four or (usually) five times a week.

So that's not as great as the six times a week at the gym that I used to enjoy before kids. And I only lifted weights one of those twenty times. But hey, at least I'm trying.

I know I'm not obese. I'm not supposed to obsess over my weight. (But I'm stubborn like that. I've been doing it for so many years now...I don't know how not to.) And even if my main motivation for working out is to be healthy, both mentally and physically, I won't lie and say it's the only reason.

I really love getting out of the house without the kids and I've finally been able to get some books read. Three things I enjoy all wrapped up into one little (precious) hour a day. Satisfaction (and multitasking) at it's finest.

So what about my "beauuuutiful fat belly" or as the Regime likes to call it, my "granola* belly?" Unfortunately this post could easily be titled, "If I Could Just Stop Eating So Much, Part Two" and that would explain everything.

*I told you I was addicted to the stuff. I wasn't joking. It's a serious problem. So serious, in fact, that I've decided to stop bringing it into the house. I'm going cold turkey. Wish me luck.

On My Soapbox

2009-07-22T23:41:00.002-05:00

You know how beauty magazines will feature an editor's pick of the month? For instance, best face cream, shampoo or lipstick. Which as it turns out, is really just cleverly disguised advertising (or not-so-cleverly, once you've figured it out.) And if the magazine is being ~~paid~~ asked to feature a product, how can you trust that it really is a good product?

I know. Throw the ~~stupid~~ silly magazine out* (well, actually you should recycle it) and then do your own research. You really should click on that link. (I love that site.)

I'll tell you my pick of the month (week, year, decade...) for soap: Dr. Bronner's. The bottle may look crazy. (Don't even try reading it...it doesn't make any sense.) But the soap inside is fabulous! A little goes a long, long way.

I have been reusing some of those foamy soap pump dispensers. That makes it foam up just beautifully and I use even less that way. I just put a little soap in the bottom, add water and voilà! Wonderfully foamy soap! (The bottle claims the soap will clog those dispensers...but I've been doing it for more than a year and not a clog yet.) I also use it for body wash (for me and the girls) and also for shaving.

Recently they started stocking it at Target, or you can always get it online or at the co-op. And if you save your bottle and take it with you to the co-op, you can refill it there, because they have it in a bulk container. (I'm pretty sure it's cheaper this way, and you are reusing the bottle. Win, win.)

So far I've tried the Mild, Lavender (I like the smell, the Regime doesn't), Eucalyptus (the Regime picked this...smells like a cough drop), and Almond. So far the Almond is my favorite. It smells like almond cookies. Yum. Yum.

I really feel like we vote with our dollars. So I try to buy from companies that have some ethics. I like knowing that the product was NOT tested on furry little critters. And I like buying products that are safer for me and my family. This soap fits the bill.

*Sorry big sis. You've tried so hard to make me like them. And makeup, and nail polish, and all of that other stuff. I'm just not that beautiful, and no amount of cream, potion, or lipstick is gonna change it for me. So I'd rather pick on them...cause I'm bitter like that. But thanks for trying to help me out.

When Peer Pressure Wins

2009-07-15T23:22:00.002-05:00

Now I know. I know where all of my friends are. And the answer to my question at the end of last week's post. You are all busy on a certain social networking site. Busy playing games, writing on people's walls and taking quizzes. Like "What Breed of Dog Are You?"*

I've been pressured many, many times over these past months. So many ~~pushers~~ friends and even my sisters telling me that I had no idea what I was missing. And that I really needed to ~~drink the Kool-Aid~~, ~~smoke the cigarettes~~, er...get a Facebook account.

What happened to just saying no? Tried that. Didn't work. One friend (she knows who she is...I won't name any names...she even calls it crackbook) would keep ~~pestering~~ reminding me that I wasn't on Facebook. Every.single.time.I.saw.her.

No wonder I finally gave in after the umpteenth email arrived in my inbox inviting me to join. I'm wondering, now that I've given in to the peer pressure, am I setting a bad example for the kids? Shhhh...don't tell them. (Or the Regime for that matter. I don't think he'll be too happy about this new time wasting venture.)

The truth is I was on Facebook before this. Back in 2007. Before it was totally crazy and before everyone was joining en masse. I left only because the Regime (and I as well) worried about my safety. They require you to have your first and last name on there. Sorry, but I can't have my real last name on there. It's just too rare. There are only like fifty people in the whole United States that share my last name. So what did I do this time? Everyone I talked to about this predicament told me to use my maiden name, which is not so rare. So that's precisely what I did.

The moment I joined and sent off my friend requests I was bombarded. Almost everyone was accepting me as their friend instantaneously. (Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Scary like the "Twilight Zone," right?) Besides that eery theme music, two movie scenes came to mind on the day that I got back in the Facebook game. First, is the scene towards the end of Big Fish (My favorite scene in that movie, makes me cry. Everytime. And yes I do own that movie.) where the dad is being carried to the river by his son and everyone from his life is there smiling. No, I'm not dying, but it felt like the cyberspace version of that with everyone surrounding me and happy. The second scene that came to mind (it's a lot less complimentary, but probably more accurate) is the scene in Wall-e where all of the heavy people are sitting in chairs looking at their screens and totally oblivious to the rest of the world around them. Lets hope it's more like the first one.

*I'm a dalmation by the way. Ha ha. Very funny. I get it. Freckles=Spots. And now you probably think I sit on Facebook taking quizzes all day, and now you don't feel so sorry for me like you did after reading last week's post. But it's not true. I've only taken a few and any time I've spent there has only caused the housework to pile up around me, all the way up to my eyeballs. So see, there really is nothing to worry about. (Turns out I was scared to rejoin for nothin'...shoulda listened to my friends months ago...I've got time...I can make time...housework's not so important...not as important as keeping up with friends...right?)

Juggling Act

2009-07-08T23:45:00.007-05:00

I'm only one person. (Yes, I realize that I'm starting to sound ~~exactly~~ a wee bit like my mother.) That statement, which I'd heard so often as a child, is turning out to be so annoyingly true. Only now I get to be the one who reminds my kids of this fact.

Sometimes I feel like I could yell it from the rooftops. To everyone. Not just the kids. Doesn't anyone understand? Shouldn't every mother understand? After all, every mother who has ever lived was only one person.

I guess my point is that I am definitely not Superwoman. Not even close. And I am not trying to be. Some of the mothers I know can just go, go, go. They seem to have no limitations. So it's easy for me to understand why they can't figure out where I'm coming from. Crazy me, who could so easily (happily, in my pajamas) just stay home every day. Does that mean I'm just lazy? Or is it something else? It is hard to say since I only live in these shoes and not anyone else's. But I can try to explain what it's like over here, and what I see that is dissimilar in other mother's lives, little things that might make a difference.

For me it really is hard to manage all of the aspects of my life while caring for two small children. (And I don't even have a job outside of the house! Those moms are amazing to me.) Sometimes I think it could be as simple as, my rate of speed. I don't do anything very quickly, never have, probably never will. I'm just a slow poke. I also have time management issues. Perfectionistic tendencies and procrastination galore. Not a good combination. I think the battle was lost before it ever began.

My other thought is that other moms have better support systems, or more money allowing them to hire help. They say it takes a village. What do you do when you don't have that village? (Well, besides getting burnt out and wanting to run far, far, far away?) I don't have a babysitter, or a nanny, or a mom, or a dad, or anyone else who can just come right over and pick up the kids, or take them for the weekend, or take them to school, or whatever. Most of my mom friends have some form of this.

I know that every mom has similar family responsibilities (at least I assume they do.) You know, stuff like house cleaning, grocery shopping, running errands, reading stories, paying bills, making doctor's appointments and cooking meals. So I can't really pick on that stuff. Although a few of my very lucky mom friends have a cleaning person that comes every so often. And some others have husbands who couldn't care less about what the house looks like. So they can get away with slacking on the house chores. Not here. I do want to keep the Regime happy, and he really, really prefers a neat and clean house. (And neat and clean kids.) I also wonder if my kids are more demanding than some others. Or maybe the way that I parent takes more of my time.

As you probably already know, I can get slightly obsessive about things like recycling (previously mentioned here, and here) and trying to live a greener lifestyle in general. Sometimes I think that my doing this makes my life slightly harder and these goals do take time. Cloth diapering creates two extra loads of laundry each week. Rinsing, sorting and taking the plastics (that can't be recycled on the curb) to the co-op that will take them, in Northeast Minneapolis, takes extra time. Washing plastic food storage bags by hand so that I can reuse them. Volunteering with Teeny Greenies. And many other things that are just little extras here and there, but it all adds up. (I'm not complaining, because I really want to do these things.)

Next on my list of possible differences is my long, hard (never ending?) fight with depression and anxiety. As I mentioned before I am now on meds and I think that they are helping. Some. Today I was thinking that maybe some people are just good at being sad. Some excel at being happy. While others are really great at getting angry. I think that being sad is my default state of being. Crying comes easy for me and always has. I don't have a horrible life, no reason to be really sad, and yet it still comes. When I think about that, and the someone else who does have it really bad, I get even sadder, for them.

Then there's the anxiety, especially in social situations (and regarding sickness and germs). I made myself go to a play date yesterday. It was hard for me. You have no idea how badly I wanted to find an excuse to stay at home. And then, of course lots of people reminded me of the fact that I've been MIA from the group (a local meetup group for moms) for the past year or more. They didn't mean anything by it and it is totally understandable that they would say that seeing as it's true. But I heard it so much that it made me feel really uncomfortable. Am I just a really shy person, trying to fight it and not having much luck? I have made some close friends, though I haven't been the best friend to them. I feel awful about it. But sometimes I barely have the mental strength to take care of myself and my family. I know that sometimes my friends take it personally, and they really shouldn't. (If you are a friend, please forgive me, I've just been dealing with my own issues. Please know that I am trying, and I will continue to try to make the effort to stay friends. I need all of the friends that I can get at this point.)

Lastly, what kind of person would I be if I didn't have any selfish pursuits? I like to blog, bake, spend time on the Internet, exercise, watch movies, read books, and much, much more. I've cut back. Way back on many of these activities because they all take time and energy that I often just don't have. But I have to admit that I still do take time for these things. Because everybody needs a break. Even (maybe especially so) busy moms. I've also started working on writing a novel. It's in it's infancy, but the process has begun. I even got a really great journal to write ideas in. I keep it around me all of the time so that whenever a thought comes I can just jot it down.

So how do you stay busy? (Besides reading this incredibly longwinded blog post.)

Grrrrr...

2009-07-01T23:21:00.003-05:00

I stayed up late last night writing a post for today. I had it scheduled to post this morning at 8 a.m. I had a busy day and just got over here to check on my blog post. Lo and behold, it wasn't here.

Any one else have problems with scheduling posts on blogger?

Quality vs. Quantity

2009-07-01T08:05:00.012-05:00

Buying organic can really cause some sticker shock. Especially in this economy. But, if buying organic is a priority for your family, you really can make it work even if you are on a budget, like us.

I've found ways to save. For instance, when I am able to make the trek to the co-op* I really only buy bulk stuff and the deals. I've found that their sales are always comparable to, or better than regular grocery store prices.

I also have this really cool coupon book for all kinds of organic things, and places that sell those types of things. And if you'd like to nab a free copy check this out.

Also, some organic brands have coupons you can print from their websites. Like one of my favorite brands for milk and eggs. Another way to save on organics is to buy the store brand organic items that you find at the regular grocery store. In Minnesota, Cub Foods has an organic line called Wild Harvest. And Rainbow Foods has Roundy's brand organic foods. These store brands are usually much cheaper than the name brands and often go on sale.

When I really started buying more organic (and not everything I buy is organic...some things are just way too expensive...I can't do it) I decided that having LESS better quality food is better than having MORE crappy food. The old Quantity vs. Quality decision. When I am limited by money (which I almost always am) I would rather make due with a half gallon of good quality organic milk instead of being able to buy a whole gallon of the normal stuff. (And then we try not to waste any of our food...though with kids that can be hard at times.)

Americans in general usually eat too much anyhow (me included), and they are usually consuming cheap, junk foods in large quantities. That can't be good for anyone...and for many, many reasons...on many levels (well, I suppose the guy on top getting rich doesn't mind so much).

So when I shop I try to remember these thoughts. I've come a long way, baby. And I'm still working on it but, dang, I really do love me some crap food. I really think that I have poor people taste buds. As in cheap, white trash food loving tastebuds. They just aren't snobby...no matter how hard I try. French Chèvres...bleck! Velveeta...yum! Expensive dark chocolate...bleck! Hershey's bar (with almonds)...YUM-O! You get the idea.

*I seriously wish that there was a co-op closer than a twenty minute or more drive from my house. I'd shop there a lot more if I were closer. Maybe that should be another item on my list of necessities for my dream house...walking distance to a co-op.

If I Could Just Stop Eating So Much

2009-06-24T23:02:00.009-05:00

This is the summer for me to get back in shape. I can just feel it. I know everybody says stuff like that. I know everybody means it. But I really mean it. (So ask me again in a few months.)

The reason for my conviction is the fact that I joined the community center down the street. They have a gym, pools, exercise classes, even an indoor ice skating rink. They had a great deal for the summer that I just couldn't pass up.

So far it has been great. I didn't realize how much I'd missed going to the gym until I was there.* It's a nice break for me. No kids, no housework, and I even get to read without any interruptions. It makes me feel soooo much better in lots of ways. I feel like I should have done this a lot sooner.

Tonight after my work out, I was looking at my stomach in the mirror and feeling annoyed with it. I was imagining, hoping, dreaming that one day it will be better. My darling daughter noticed me looking at it and chimed in with the following:

P.D.: Look at that beauuuutiful fat belly!
Me: Hey...did you just hear that?
The Regime: (no response, just a sheepish grin)
P.D.: Mom...you are supposed to say thank you.
Me: Oh really.

*I honestly do love going. I've been known to get addicted to working out once I get into the habit. That's what I'm hoping for anyhow. Cause giving up and becoming a frumpy mama is not good for my psyche.

Worms are Finally Eating (some of) My Garbage

2009-06-17T07:30:00.006-05:00

You read correctly. We've got our worm farm going! Oh, yeah! Yes, I do realize that my first mention of worm composting was almost a year ago. Better late than never, right?

I had wanted to take a worm composting class at Eureka Recycling last February. Unfortunately, it didn't work out and I haven't seen another class on their schedule since then. Hopefully they will have another one. Cause I could really use some worm education. In the meantime I'll just have to make due with reading up on the subject. (Speaking of which, I should probably be doing that right now...)

I just dove right into the worm experiment because there was a woman* who was willing to give away some of her red wigglers if I helped harvest them. So I found a website with instructions on how to make an easy, and cheap worm bin. And then I headed on over to her house and helped sort out the worms.

So far it seems pretty easy. Also Punky Doodle asks about checking on the worms every day and she loves to feed them. Who knew that a kid would be so happy about pet worms? Please tell me that with her enthusiasm we are bound to succeed.

*This woman is what you would call a very CRUNCHY granola mom. Vegan, raw food eating, homeschooling, kombucha brewing, permaculture gardening, and so on. She had all kinds of wheat grass and microgreens growing in her kitchen, alongside the kombucha. Also her husband is building a boat, and they plan to live on the boat when it's finished. Interesting people make the world go round. How boring would it be if we were all the same?

Check it Out

2009-06-10T23:50:00.000-05:00

Here's what I was up to earlier today. Hope you enjoy!

Spreading the Cloth Diaper Love

2009-06-10T23:00:00.018-05:00

I've mentioned Teeny Greenies before. It is a FREE cloth diaper lending service. An organization working to get cloth diapers back into mainstream parenting.

It is right up my alley. So I was so happy to become the Volunteer Coordinator for them. What does that mean? It means that I keep a database of all of the people who have (or will) be helping out. I also try to find new volunteers, and keep all of the current ones up to date with everything that's going on.

So far I am really enjoying it. I wish I could make more time for it, because there is so much more that I could be doing with it. For now, I fit it in whenever I can. And thankfully Elizabeth (the founder) is appreciative of the things that I have been able to do.

Maybe you want to help Teeny Greenies grow? (A girl can dream, can't she?)

There are many, many ways that you can help out! A big thing we need is help getting our name known and letting people know that we need donations and help. It would be great to have volunteers spreading the word about us. Feel free to tell others about us, blog about us, mention us in all of your groups, etc. We need to get the word out!

As far as available volunteer positions (come on - you knew this call for help was coming - it's part of my job description) we have many, many jobs that require volunteer help. If you, or someone you know would be interested in filling one of these positions please let me know! My email address is: volunteer(at)twincitiesteenygreenies(dot)org.

Here's the current list of available volunteer positions that need to be filled:

Pick Up/Drop Off Volunteers
At-Home Sewers
Website Administrator
Advertising/Marketing Director & Helpers
Monthly Giveaway Coordinator
Childcare Centers List Volunteers
Babysitter(s)
Attorney
Accountant
Business Sponsor Liaison

We are also in need of donations - If you'd like to help - but don't have time to spare - maybe you (or someone you know) has some of the following items to donate.

Here is a list of the donations that Teeny Greenies would love to receive:

*Prefold diapers, fitted diapers, covers, pocket diapers, all-in-one diapers, snappis, diaper pins, fleece liners, longies, shorties, soakers, disposable liners, inserts, wetbags, pail liners, diaper sprayers, microfiber towels, cloth wipes, cloth wipe solution, laundry soap formulated for cloth diapers, and cloth-diaper-safe rash creams (we gladly accept used & in need of repair diapers)

*Large diaper bags and tote bags to send the diapers out in.

*Laptop computer

*Folding table (for expos, classes, etc to set our stuff up)

*Rolling file box w/handle

*Presentation Board bag/case

*A printing company or copy place who will print brochures/handouts for us free or supercheap

*Sewing machines

*Diaper making supplies like fabric, velcro, elastic, etc.

*Flash/Jump/Thumb drives (portable USB port storage devices)

*Hanging file folders, manila files

*Computer Paper (any color but white or green is best)

*Printer Ink Cartridges for an HP Deskjet F2110 All-In-One printer

Please Note: Anyone who volunteers their business services/products can be credited on the website as a sponsor of Teeny Greenies. Let's help each other out!

The Plan

2009-06-03T23:21:00.010-05:00

The good news is I've got a new plan. The bad news (for me) is that I've probably already lost most of my readers due to my inability to get posts up more often.

For all of you wonderful, extremely loyal and devoted ~~weirdos~~ readers out there, who are ~~for some strange reason~~ interested in me and mine, I want to say thank you for sticking with me. I wish I could write more often. I really do. I wish there was more time in the day and that I had a good babysitter* around. I could really use some time before 10 p.m.** without a child requesting or needing something.

So what is this plan? Me blogging once a week. Every Wednesday. Expect something every Wednesday. I refuse to let my blog die, just because I'm busy at home. And one day (yes I do dream) my life will be less hectic and then I'll write to you every day.

*Speaking of babysitters, anybody know of a great one in the Twin Cities area?
**Yes, you read that correctly. The amazing P.D. has been not-so-amazingly fighting bedtime (and lots of other rules around here) lately. And she's not the only one. S.J. is puttin' up the good fight at bedtime as well. Oh, heck, let's include the whole family, cause even the parents in this house fight their bedtime. Which would explain the exhaustion and crabbiness spewing from each and every one of us lately. Wanna guess how many times I've shouted the phrase, "Serenity NOW!" around here in the past week?

"No More Pencils, No More Books"

2009-05-27T10:25:00.001-05:00

No more teacher's friendly looks.

That's right, school's (almost) out for summer. Today will be Punky Doodle's last day of preschool. I'm looking forward to her summer break. No preschool should make for a less hectic schedule and more time to meet up with friends at the park. (And hopefully more time for me to blog and exercise.)

I don't really believe it. It seems impossible because I know that this was just yesterday. Next thing you know she'll be graduating. And I'll be saying, "How did that happen?"

Her first preschool session will be going out with a ~~bang~~ cherry on top. The teachers have planned an ice cream party for the last hour of class today. And all of the families are invited. So Smiley Jo and I will be joining her for delicious sundaes this afternoon. And we're bringing the whipped cream! Yum-o!

Toddler Hijinks

2009-05-20T14:00:00.026-05:00

Before I was a SAHM, I used to work in child care. I worked with infants and toddlers. The toddlers stole my heart. They've always been my favorite. One year olds are so dang entertaining. And ~~almost~~ every child is super cute at this age. Learning to walk, learning to talk, and their love of independent exploring and it's converse, cuddling. Who in their right mind can resist them?* They look too small to be walking and they have the cute baby chubbiness still lingering. I could love them for their cute feet alone.

As you probably already guessed it, this is yet another Smiley Jo update.

She loves to wash her hands. I swear she touches gross things just so that I'll have to wash her hands. Stinker.

Smiley Jo is such a climber. Or at least she tries to climb.

Someone needs to tell her that whipped cream is great and all, but it does not double as a shampoo. That goes for yogurt, spaghetti sauce, ketchup and applesauce too.

She's also talking. All of the time. New words every day. Here is a list of (some of) her vocabulary:

Book
Oh no
Yeah
Door
Don't
All done
Whoa!
Truck
Pear
Bird
Balloon
Giraffe
Shhhh!
Milk
Cheese
Ball
Yum
Mama
Dada
Hair
Brush
Bowl
Stop
Hi
Bye Bye
Boo - Peekaboo is still one of her favorite games. She laughs her head off.
Pear - One of her favorite foods. (Funny, they're one of the few things I could eat when I was so sick while pregnant with her.)
Tickle, tickle, tickle. - All my fault. I say it to her when (you guessed it) I'm tickling her.
Throw - Said while chucking a toy, food or some other object. Sometimes in my direction. Thanks, kid.
Dora - Sad, isn't it? She's got an older sister. What can I say? (sigh)
Shoes - She's obsessed. Not at all surprised by this one.
Hello - Usually after putting a phone to her ear.
Cat...Meow,meow, meow! - The meowing sometimes turns into a high pitched scream.
Dog...Woof,woof, woof! - Usually the first words out of her mouth in the morning. Said while she crawls toward the window in search of the neighbor's dog.
Cow...Moo! - Said while pointing at the 1/2 & 1/2 carton. Yes, it's got a cow on it. And yes, I need cream in my coffee.
Whee! - Said while pointing at the playground.
No - I've only heard her say this to Punky Doodle, so far. (That's sure to change.)
找朋友 (zhǎo péng you) - She sings the first line. It's too cute. I think having an older sister learning Mandarin is really giving S.J. an advantage.

The books are no longer safe:

She also has a little plush cat. She carries it around, she kisses it, she loves it. It's too sweet. Punky Doodle also has a plush cat. S.J. often snags it and that goes over real well. Why do I get the feeling that the next fifteen years will be filled with me breaking up wrestling matches?

*Okay, maybe I could understand someone not feeling the toddler love if, said toddler is any of the following: having a temper tantrum, tired, sick, hungry, or very cranky. (But even at their worst, I still think they are stinkin' adorable. I don't want this age to go away. I'm soakin' it up. So now you know where I've been these last few weeks.)

Could Be Better, Could Be Worse

2009-05-16T12:15:00.013-05:00

We are here. We made it. Ten years of ~~good days and bad, ups and downs, sickness and health, frustration and delight~~ wedded bliss.

Yep, today is our wedding anniversary. Last year we enjoyed our usual ritual of going to Como Park Zoo. We had a great day. I have a feeling that this year will be memorable also. But in a not-so-great kinda way. There will not be a trip to the zoo today. The Regime is sick. Smiley Jo is sick. I'm exhausted and burnt out from caring for a ~~very busy little child and her older sister all year long~~ sick toddler all week. And as an added plus, my monthly visit from Aunt Flo came today. (sigh)

When I imagined celebrating my ten year anniversary, I didn't quite imagine it like this. But that's life and I think my expectations were too high anyway. The longer you are married, the lower your expectations become. Not that that's always a bad thing.

The highlight this year, pink ranunculus:

Catching Up

2009-05-01T16:22:00.009-05:00

It's May. It's May? How did that happen? My life must be in warp speed, cause I swear it was just February yesterday. My advice to people who feel that life is too slow: have a couple of kids and watch your life flash before your eyes.

I know that I was bad about updating in April. So here are some of the things that we did last month:

Swimming Lessons -

We started swimming lessons at the local community center's indoor pool. I take a Baby & Me class with Smiley Jo. At the same time Punky Doodle is in her class with the big kids on the other side of the pool.

I thought S.J. would really love it because she loves playing in the water during bath time, and that P.D. would have a hard time because she hates getting water in her eyes. Boy was I wrong. P.D. absolutely loves her class and always asks me when it will be Thursday so that she can go again. She has also thanked me (multiple times) for signing her up for the class. On the other hand, S.J. had a rough start. She screamed and shivered the entire first class (the water was quite cold, thankfully it's been warmer since). The next time she only cried for half of the class. Finally, last night she enjoyed the entire class and didn't cry at all. Good thing, because I really didn't like the idea of having to torture myself, by putting on a swimsuit every week, just to be screamed at.

The best thing about taking the class there is that they also have a fun pool with slides and water splashing everywhere, and we are allowed to play in there for thirty minutes after our class. It's normally pretty expensive to get in, so this makes the class totally worth it. (Sorry, no pics. Remember I hate wearing a swimsuit.)

Minnesota Orchestra Concert -

A while back I entered a drawing for a Target Free Family Concert. We were fortunate enough to win tickets to see Casey at the Bat. Not only did we win tickets but we won really, really great tickets. We were in the second row. It was awesome! Although Smiley Jo wasn't too interested, and would've been happier to play with the little boy sitting in the seat behind us. (Again, no pics. They don't allow you to take pictures, otherwise I would have.)

Elementary School Carnival -

P.D. goes to a local elementary school for her preschool classes. They had a fundraising carnival a couple of weeks ago. She had lots of fun playing the games, getting a fake tattoo, eating pizza and cotton candy, and entering the drawings. She got lucky and won a Bocce ball set. Guess I know what game I'll be learning how to play. Yes, you read correctly. I'm almost thirty and I've never played Bocce before. (We always played Croquet growing up...never Bocce.)

While we had a fun time and we were happy to support the school, I was really upset to see that they had no place for people to recycle their soda cans and plastic water bottles. (There were a lot and they were all in the garbage.) It's 2009 after all, who doesn't recycle? And shouldn't they be taking the opportunity to teach our children such an important lesson? I would have thought that schools were required to have a place to recycle. I went to school more than ten years ago and we had recycling then, so it really surprised me that they didn't.

Painting -

We finally painted the girls' room. It's a nice pale green. We've had the paint since last summer and just finally got it done. The Regime did most of the work, while I cared for the kids and made sure they didn't get into the paint. He did a great job and I can't wait ~~for him~~ to get all of the other ~~extremely overdue~~ painting jobs out of the way. Now I just need to get the room back together. Of course, I'm supposed to be doing it now.*

Teeny Greenies -

This really deserves its own post, and I will devote one to it soon, but in the meantime I thought that I should at least mention it. In April I became the Volunteer Coordinator for Teeny Greenies. That is part of why I haven't been so good about writing here. I've been spending a lot of whatever (little) free time I have (happily) working on some projects for them.

*Ah, it's not going anywhere and I'm not always in a blogging sort of mood. I've gotta write while the writin' is good.

The Elephant in the Room

2009-04-29T22:45:00.006-05:00

Is it ever easy to admit you need some help? (Warning: Seriousness and brutal honesty ahead.)

After Punky Doodle was born I had a severe bout of depression and anxiety, the worst I've ever endured. I've told a bit of that story previously. It was obvious that I was having a hard time. I was often suicidal. I knew it was bad and I got the help that I needed. At first I just saw a therapist, because I was afraid to start antidepressants while I was breastfeeding. But eventually I had to start the medication, breastfeeding or not.

I remember when my doctor gave me the prescription. She told me that things would get better. I remember looking at her with tear filled eyes, thinking, "Yeah, right. I don't believe you. But I'm in a bad place and need to get out, so I'll try them." I'm sure I just said, "Okay," feigned a smile, and anxiously took the prescription.

Fortunately for me (and my family), my doctor was right. The sertraline really did help pull me out of the muck. I started becoming active in the world outside of my house. I made friends, signed P.D. up for ECFE classes, and helped organize a local mom's group. I didn't just see a light at the end of the tunnel, I'd made it out of the tunnel and was standing in the sunlight. I felt fully recovered, reborn even, just a few months after starting on the meds.

I was medicated for about a year and a half when I was feeling like I might not need the medicine anymore. So I stopped taking it. Shortly thereafter I found out I was pregnant, so I decided to stay off of antidepressants for the duration of my pregnancy. And I did well during my pregnancy, mentally at least (physically, is another story).

At the end of my pregnancy with Smiley Jo I was given another prescription for sertraline. Due to my past history they wanted to make sure that I would be alright postpartum. I took the prescription, but I didn't have it filled. (Don't worry, I discussed this with my doctor. We decided I would have the prescription on hand just in case I needed it.) After all I was feeling totally fine and there was a chance, however small, that I would be okay after the baby's birth.

Miraculously, I was fine after Smiley Jo was born. The postpartum period was how it should be. It was the wondrous time I'd always dreamt of. And instead of going too slowly it went by way too fast.

So fast forward, cause having two kids (or more, I'm sure) puts your life in fast forward mode. Here we are a year later. How am I doing? Hey, I'm still blogging. Though barely. Kind of like everything else in my life lately. I'm doing it, but barely. For a while now, I've been barely getting by. It's weird cause it just sort of crept in. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I kept trying to ignore the symptoms. No motivation, withdrawing from friends, anxiety. This time around there weren't any suicidal thoughts and I wasn't crying all of the time. So it was easier to ignore.

I really didn't want the anxiety and depression to come back. I want to be fine which leads to my denial. I've also been told repeatedly (which leads me to start believing) that depression isn't real. It's just my personality. And that taking the meds is just changing my personality. So as I've done in the past I fought taking antidepressants. I also had (big surprise) anxiety over taking the medication while breastfeeding.

The anxiety is what got me this time around. I felt like I was living in a constant state of panic. Or more like not living because of all of the risks (and extra work) I'd have to face by leaving the house. I only left when I had to. But once in a while I would actually try to do more than the minimum - grocery shopping, taking P.D. to school, etc. And more than once I returned home from a social event feeling extremely sad, dejected, and worthless. Or I'd meet up with friends* and wacky stuff would happen, thus compounding my already brooding fears about leaving the comforts of my home. It was hard for me to see the benefits of leaving the house. It felt like the negatives outweighed the positives. And yet I still needed to get out. I needed friends, and social interaction.

I simply got to the point where I couldn't take it any longer. That's when I started up on the antidepressants again. That was the beginning of March. Thankfully it's helping with the anxiety. And some days I'm a little more motivated. So there is hope.

*To all of my friends who got me out of the house over the winter: THANK YOU! Sorry it was so hard for me. I really didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I started feeling (somewhat) better on the meds.

In Full Bloom

2009-04-12T22:16:00.012-05:00

We have been enjoying some warmer spring weather around here. It's about time. Because snow in April* sucks! And it isn't really blooming outside yet. But, the spring flower show at the Conservatory in St. Paul was breathtaking.

Last week we made a trip to Como Zoo on Friday afternoon. The Regime was nice enough to come along. He allowed us to buy a big bag of delicious popcorn. And he even ~~grudgingly~~ took a few pictures for me. Smiley Jo thought all of the animals were dogs. She kept saying, "dog" and "woof!" I kept saying, "No, that's a monkey, monkeys say oooh oooh aaah aaah." Or, "that's a lion, lions say roar!" And so on. She was really interested in all of the animals. It was great.

There are some new baby tamarins there that are to die for! And the baby orangutan isn't bad either (in other words, I am so very in love.) I could spend all day in that monkey house and not get bored. They are so entertaining. When I get old, hopefully someone will be nice enough to take me to the zoo and park my wheel chair right in front of the monkeys!

These pictures were taken at the Conservatory's Sunken Garden. It was lovely. Especially the ranunculus! Those are a favorite of mine.** Here are a few more of my favorites:

This last one is copyright The Regime (thanks again, honey!):

*Yes, it has snowed twice already this month. On April 1st and the 5th. Whoever is in charge of the weather around here must think that they're funny. They aren't. From my perspective it was a cruel April Fool's Day joke and even more depressing on the fifth.
**You may be wondering how in the world I know of a flower called ranunculus and what it looks like. I don't blame you. I'm not a flower snob. I just worked in a flower shop right after I graduated from high school. I learned a lot there...but it wasn't as nice of a job as you woulda thought. (I'll have to tell you about all of my previous jobs, one day.)

Keeping Me on My Toes

2009-04-07T09:35:00.010-05:00

Oy! All I have to say for myself is that having a toddler is crazy busy. And exhausting. Especially because my ~~Smiley Jo~~ Little Monster is so naughty. She tests all the limits. She knows when she is not supposed to touch something. Yet she is so ~~stubborn~~ persistent, she'll just look straight at me with a guilty grin and keep on going. And did I mention that she is now able to run at top speed?

Her obsessions include (but aren't limited to): the knobs on the stove, the blinds in front of the patio door, outlets with plugs in them, Punky Doodle's dirty shoes, the dishwasher, boxes in the snack cupboard (Note to the Regime: Please childproof that cabinet again!), and she's still entranced by the night lights and the toilet.*

Her latest cool trick, walking around with her eyes closed or with her blanket over her head. As if, being a new walker, she needs to make the task any more difficult. She already trips over herself multiple times a day. I don't know how to make her stop. You'd think that running face first into the kitchen cupboards would teach her something. Not yet. All I can do is laugh, run after her and wait for this phase to pass.**

"Look Ma, no eyes!"

*Just this weekend I caught that little Sneaky Pete running out of the bathroom waving the toilet brush like a sword. En garde, take that!
**Truth be told, I don't want it to pass too quickly. Even though she keeps me on my toes, I still love it! She is so adorably bad, I can't stand it. I love this age, despite the numerous challenges it presents. I doubt I'll still be able to say that when she's fifteen.

Simple Math

2009-03-28T12:19:00.007-05:00

Can you figure out how many pets reside at my mom's house?

Two cats + three dogs = five pets! No wonder my mom calls it the "House of Fur." Quite a contrast from our pet free home.

Being in that very different environment, with no Punky Doodle and no dad led to a very nervous, clingy Not-So-Smiley Jo. While on our vacation, she was totally out of her element. This led her to be scared of strangers (really her family, but that was unbeknownst to her), the pets, and even Grammy's bathtub. For the first time ever she cried for her entire bath* and she wouldn't let me out of her sight without screaming her head off. Separation and stranger anxiety at their finest.** Add in the not-even-remotely-childproofed surroundings, jealousy caused by my trying to hold a new baby, and no dad around to provide a break and you can guess how much of a vacation I really got.

"Stranger, stranger! Mom save me!"

"Where are those pesky food snatching mongrels?"

Of course she finally started getting used to everything, including the dogs, and even let my mom hold her. Just in time for us to turn around and head home.

Wanna guess what her new words are? That's right: dog, woof, and meow.

*Can you guess how clean she was on our trip? Good thing she's so small and doesn't get very stinky. I'm such a good mom. Where's that mom of the year award?
**Why didn't someone remind me that those anxieties peak at 12 months? Cause her first birthday coincided with our trip. See, besides being an awesome mom, I also have impeccable timing. Cause I'm awesome like that.

Family Fun

2009-03-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I've got so much to tell. I could write a small novel about my recent trip. At least, one hundred pages. Maybe one day I'll have time to write it all out. I wish I could now. I just don't have the time or the energy. And I don't think my family would be happy to have me airing out all of that laundry.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So here are a few glimpses from my vacation week:

So Long, Farewell...

2009-03-16T08:50:00.003-05:00

...Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye.

No not for good. Just going out of town for a little while. I am still on the fence about bringing my computer. I'll have enough to carry as it is. Because it's just gonna be me and Smiley Jo. We are heading down to Maryland to visit my family and the new baby.

I've got so much I'd love to write about and lots to fill you guys in about. Unfortunately, time does not permit me to tell you all about it. Yet.

So take care. Be well. I will write again soon. And, as always thanks for reading! Mwah!

Things Don't Always Go as Pictured

2009-03-11T16:23:00.018-05:00

Have you ever seen that flustered, frazzled mom at the store? You know the one. Messy hair. No makeup. Jeans and a sweatshirt. Tired and rundown looking. Accompanied by a couple of screaming and/or whining kids. Yep, that is now me. I hate to admit it. I never wanted to be that mom. Alas, here I am. I can't say that I like it. Not one bit.

I really should know better. Usually I go grocery shopping while Punky Doodle is at preschool. That way I only have one monster to deal with, or I leave both kids at home with their dad. But every once in a while I go momentarily insane and imagine that taking both kids into the store will not end in disaster. I am sad to report that a crazy sense of bravado struck again today.

Today (like many other days) I imagined the way I (as a stay at home mom) should behave. The way I wish I was. In my fantasy of my perfect self, I am an organized mom who has it all together. Always on time. Always knows what's for dinner. Always has all of the necessary ingredients for that dinner. Always gets all of the chores done (including the shopping) while my husband is at work. Which means I go to the store and maneuver the aisles gracefully, whilst my two well behaved children listen to everything I say. I've brought snacks to keep them smiling. I never ever forget an item or a coupon. Always bring my own bags. And manage to keep the bill under one hundred bucks.

Crazy, right? Where do these ideas come from? I am not, and will never be that mom of my dreams. Yet I want to believe, especially right before I do something stupid. And deep down I know. But this crazy hope comes over me and I try. I actually try to be that woman.

So Smiley Jo refused, after repeated attempts, to take her morning nap. So that meant she really, really needed to nap while P.D. was at school. Which also meant that my schedule was totally thrown off and I couldn't get my grocery shopping done then.

Of course, we pass the grocery store on the way home from preschool. And I really just wanted to get the shopping over with. Cause I knew that once I got home I really wouldn't feel like going back out in the cold. (Our high for the day: maybe 9 degrees. With gusting wind, feels like five below.) I think to myself that I should be able to handle this task. Women do it everywhere, everyday. Why am I such a wimp?

I even made plans to try and snag the cart with the little car in the front, cause I knew that would help me in my endeavor. I didn't see it in the parking lot, and so I hoped and hoped I would find it inside. Hooray, cause I did! And it helped. For a little while. If only I was a fast shopper. Cause everything was fine while I found the items on the first half of my list.

Then out of nowhere the meltdowns began. There's nothing like my kids screaming at the store to make my stress level skyrocket. It's just so hard to hold a wild toddler in one arm and push the cart, check the shopping list, and find the coupons with the other. All the while denying (most of) P.D.'s endless requests for sugar laden snacks and then dealing with all of the subsequent whining. And don't look around or you'll see the unsympathetic, childless shoppers giving you nasty looks. All of this makes me realize that I want to ~~run away...far, far away...all by myself...and never come back~~ make sure that I never take both kids to the store by myself ever again.

Finally I get home. The Regime says, "Why didn't you go to the store by yourself and leave the kids home with me?" Good question. My only answer: unobtainable, unrealistic perfect mom fantasy strikes again.

You think they are cute rascals now? Just wait until they've been in the cart for a half an hour.

Humans are Mammals After All

2009-03-06T22:54:00.009-06:00

Finally. It's about time. I'm even avoiding my workload right now in order to write this. (No wonder the Regime hates my blog.) It's been a very full, tiring week. And there's no end in sight. But I'll talk about all of that in another post. Because this post is about one of the best things, as a mom, that you can do for your child.*

I found a list of 101 reasons to breastfeed. I'm not going to get *that* into it. But I will list my top ten favorite things about breastfeeding:

It's free. Have you ever seen how much formula costs? Egads!
It's healthier. For mom and baby. In many, many ways. Just check that list of 101 reasons and you'll see lots of health benefits listed. For instance, lower cancer rates. And less cancer is always a good thing.
It's smarter. Studies have shown that formula feeding is associated with a lower I.Q. later in life.
It's more nutritious. Breast milk is the perfect food for human infants.
It's recommended. By doctors everywhere. And by the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Dietetic Society, World Health Organization, and UNICEF.
It's greener. Less packaging, less bottles, less waste.
It's cuddlier. It is great for bonding. Nothing better than nursing and snuggling with a warm baby.
It's skinnier. Breastfeeding burns 500 calories. 500! That's the equivalent of jogging for five miles.
It's easier. Once you get it figured out, it's a snap. You can even do it laying down. Which means that you don't have to get up in the night to prepare bottles, or at all. And, you don't have to worry about toting formula and bottles around when you leave the house.
Best of all...can you say lactational amenorrhea?

I also wanted to list a few things that I have found helpful. First, nursing tea. Whenever my supply feels a little low I have a few cups and it works like a charm. Here are links to two of the kinds that I have tried: Mother's Milk Tea and Nursing Mom Tea. I like the Traditional Medicinals version slightly better. It reminds me of licorice. Which I like. But if you don't like it I would say go with the Yogi Tea. And don't forget to drink lots and lots of water if your supply is getting low.

Second, lanolin. It really helped me in the early days and during teething. (Added plus, it's also great for diaper rash.)

Third, nursing tanks rock. I didn't have any when I nursed Punky Doodle. Boy, was I missing out. That's about all I use now. They are great for covering up a post pregnancy belly. (Yes, I've still got that. It refuses to go away. Must.make.exercising.a.priority.)

Last, if you have other questions and/or need some help visit kellymom.com. It's a great site.

*Of course, occasionally there are medical reasons which make breastfeeding inadvisable. Understandably, breastfeeding isn't always possible for every family. This post isn't meant to pick on anyone or make anyone feel bad. We are all doing the best we can for our kids. I am lucky that for me, that includes breastfeeding. And I want to help and encourage all the moms out there who can, to do it. (You won't regret it.) So if you have medical reasons...please just disregard my ranting.

The Meteorologist Who Cried Snow

2009-02-26T22:46:00.003-06:00

So this post was supposed to be about breastfeeding. Sorry.* It'll have to be my next post. Today's events are begging to be written about.

Thursday, February 26th, started out like any other day. Smiley Jo alarm clock, me cursing who ever invented morning, change a diaper, turn the heat up, check my email, have breakfast, clean up a bit, put Smiley Jo down for a morning nap, take a shower, get myself and the kids dressed, another diaper change, coats, hats, mittens, shoes, and then out the door to meet up with some friends.

We had a great time hanging out with our friends and a great lunch. Then somewhere along the way (seems like it started during our lunch, cause the car was covered when we left Chipotle) the heavens decided to open up and drop (and drop, and drop, and drop) a load of snow exactly where I was. And I had a doctor's appointment to get to on the other side of town. I should've known it was too good to be true when I called for an appointment yesterday and they were able to get me in the very next day. Usually I have to wait. Not a day, or days, but weeks.

So as I tried to drive to my appointment, I couldn't see a thing. My windshield wipers kept icing up. Windows kept fogging up. Snow covered my back windshield. And, yes, I did wipe it off before we started driving. It didn't matter. It was snowing that much. The roads were awful. Just awful. We were moving at a snail's pace on the interstate. Everything was white. And not once during this dreadful time did I see a single snow plow. Stalled cars, yes. Snow plows, no.

We did this for about an hour. At this point, I was about thirty minutes late for my appointment and not anywhere close to the doctor's office. There was no end in sight. If I kept on going when would I have gotten to the doctor's office? I can only imagine. It was impossible.** I could fight the current no longer. And I desperately needed to get out of the car. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

The inability to see out of the car caused me to have a panic attack. Driving in the snow is so stressful. Especially when you have small children in the back seat. So I decided to pull off and try to get some of the ice and snow cleared off. It didn't really help. Cause as soon as I wiped the snow off and managed to get back into the car, it was instantly covered all over again. And the windows refused to defog. It was at this time that S.J., who had been sleeping through the whole ordeal, woke up and started to cry.

I called the doctor's office and rescheduled. Called my husband and cried. This was my first ever missed appointment. I felt defeated. And way too far from home in a terrible snowstorm. So I decided to find a place to take a break. We found a Target close by. Ahhh, Target, I've never loved you more. You had a bathroom, (Did I mention I had to pee before I got in the car but thought I would just do it when I got to my appointment?) a place to change S.J.'s diaper, a place to sit and nurse S.J., and best of all absolutely.no.snow.

It was slightly better when we left Target. Some of the roads home had been plowed and we could go a little faster than ten miles per hour. The snow wasn't coming down as fast. I could actually see out of my windows, which, as it turns out, happens to be kind of important when you are trying to drive somewhere. It was better, but not great. Especially when you factor in S.J. screaming her head off for most of the trip. Finally, (and not a moment too soon) we made it home safe. Though I'm pretty sure I looked (and I know I felt) like Droopy when I got in the door. On days like this, I feel like if I ever leave the house again it will be too soon.

So the meteorologists were right for once.
See that bull's eye, that's where I was driving:

(Image from the NOAA)

*I'm sure you're just dying to hear what I have to say on the subject. Patience...patience...dear readers. I need to get this junk out of my system. Didn't you know that this here blog is my therapy and that you are my (unintentional) therapists? Mwa ha ha ha.
**On a clear day it would have taken about 20 minutes to get there. In blizzard conditions...2 hours, I guess since I never made it. Cause when everything's going wrong...the best thing to do is ~~freak out~~ stop and figure out what's working and what's not.

A Great Start

2009-02-24T22:00:00.001-06:00

She did it! She did it! A totally natural birth. No pain meds. At all. Way to go, Jenna! Now ~~you have bragging rights for life~~ everyone knows how tough you are. I am so proud of you! And, I know Tim and the rest of your family must be as well.

Baby Ivy came into this world on Friday, February 20th at 9:34 pm. Six days ahead of her due date. I'm sure my sister-in-law is glad that she didn't wait any longer. Even though the baby came a bit early, she still weighed in at a very healthy 8lbs, 4 ounces. They are all settled in at home and breastfeeding has been going well.

A lot of the pics of my brother in their web album are of him changing diapers. Gotta love it!

Photo Copyright Jenna's Family

Imminent Arrival

2009-02-20T16:00:00.007-06:00

My younger brother is gonna be a dad. A dad. Wow. ~~I feel old.~~ I can't believe it! And, yes I know I've had nine months to mull it over. What can I say, I'm a procrastinator. Not to mention that it just didn't feel real, until now.

I was extremely excited when I found out this morning that their bundle of joy* is on her way into this world as we speak. And, I know that my brother and sister-in-law are going to be great parents. You are. I have no doubt about it.**

Over the course of my sister-in-law's pregnancy I've been sending them baby stuff and emails chock full of labor info and advice. I even sent them my copy of the book Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way.*** I personally believe that the Bradley method is your best shot at a natural birth...it worked for me twice and for my mom as well. So she's trying for a natural, hospital birth. I wish her all the best. I hope that she has a quick, easy labor, great nurses, a smart doctor, and a fast recovery.

And, I wish that I could be there today to meet that sweet new baby. I was crying just thinking about it. It's so hard to live far away from your family. But, not to worry. I already bought my plane ticket and I'm going to meet my new little niece in about a month. I can't wait.

Congratulations in advance to my brother and sister-in-law! Hug and kiss that baby for me. And, don't forget to send me a picture. I can't wait to see her!

My brother and his wife with Punky Doodle when they visited us, almost four years ago.

*Unfortunately, that joy comes with middle of the night feedings, lots of poop, and sleep deprivation. Hey...nothing comes for free in this world.
**Even if you have moments of doubt yourself. We all have our moments. I have them every day. Including this morning. When I was so tired and grumpy with my way-too-early rising Smiley Jo. Hopefully, my new niece will love to sleep like her dad.
***No, I didn't push it on her. She said she wanted to try for a natural birth and that she would like to read the book. And, it's a very helpful book. I recommend it if you want to labor with out the epidural. But, watch out. NSFW...It's got some very candid laboring mama photos in there.

P.S. - In case you were on pins and needles and wondering about my husband's work status, he still has his job. Hurray.

On Pins and Needles

2009-02-16T22:33:00.005-06:00

It's amazing how much money you can save when you put your mind to it. I mean really put your mind to it. I've always thought of myself as a frugal person. Don't you have to be frugal when you are trying to support a family of four on one income? For years I've been making my husband's lunch every day, using coupons, buying things on sale or secondhand, only buying things we really need, etc. But, I'm learning that I was only somewhat of a tightwad. I did spend money in little, unnecessary ways here and there. And, the here and there adds up. Fast!

It's interesting the way (and how quickly) your spending habits change when you are very unsure about the fate of your husband's job. My husband's employer announced, a few weeks ago, that they will be having lay offs. Again. In fact, they said that they will be getting rid of 30% of the staff working at the Minnesota branch. So we are anxiously (but not too anxiously) awaiting the lay offs. Wondering if he will manage to escape them once more.*

Ever since the financial system took a nose dive we have been unsure of his job and we've been extremely tightfisted. Even the Lego budget was scaled back. Way back. And, more importantly a dining out budget was established. These past few months, we've done well. We've managed to stay within the $75/month allotment. And, my eyes have been opened to the crazy amounts we were previously wasting, just so that I didn't have to cook. Which, don't get me wrong, was great in my eyes. But, it's also a luxury that needed to be cut back.

Slowly but surely, we've been growing our savings account. We are getting ready for that rainy day, which might be right around the corner. We were fortunate enough to get money back from our taxes and we saved all of that. I've been selling stuff on craigslist instead of just donating it. We canceled Netflix and will soon be canceling the cable. But, not our internet service. Times aren't that tough. Not yet.

My love for the library has been rekindled during these tough economic times. You can check out movies for free. So what if they are a little older, they are free! I've been requesting movies and TV shows on DVD. And, in the Twin Cities you can even check out a Museum Adventure Pass. A few weeks ago I managed to get a pass for the MN Zoo. So we packed a lunch and got in for free.**

Really we are just trying to play it smart. Trying to penny pinch wherever we can. And, hoping for the best. But, most of all trying to maintain an attitude similar to the Taoist farmer.***

How are you dealing with it all? How have your habits changed? Are you saving too?

*Or, will he be headed in a new direction. If that happens I vote for a green energy job. He could make solar panels. How cool would that be?
**Although I did have to pay for parking. Still, it's so much cheaper when you don't have to pay to get in or for a new membership.
***If you've read one of our favorite books, Zen Shorts, then you know what I'm talking about. Cause, you never know what's going to happen next.

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

2009-02-10T20:03:00.015-06:00

Nope. Not referring to the economic mess and the gigantic band-aid that is supposed to help heal it. We've had a completely different sort of mess going on over here this week.

Poor little Smiley Jo has gotten sick yet again.* But, not with a measly, boring old cold. This time she was struck with a gastrointestinal virus. Fortunately, no throwing up and so far she is the only family member (poor thing) who has been bothered with it.** But, let's just say she was burning through the diapers. And, the covers. I broke down. I had The Regime pick up some *gasp* disposables.

I really hate using them (besides the obvious reasons...they also suck at containing blowouts), and they are so trim that her pants keep trying to fall off. My cloth diapers are so much cheaper, more absorbant, softer, less chemically, and (best of all) they don't leave me full of guilty feelings. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time my germaphobic tendencies have gotten the better of me. I even added boiling water to the wash cycle in an effort to sanitize the diapers that were used to absorb the icky messes before The Regime got home with the backups.

It's kind of funny, because I've been meaning to post about diapers for a while now. This definitely isn't the type of diaper post I had in mind! I wanted to spread the cloth diapering love, and remind you of the Cloth Diapering 101 posts (#1, #2, #3) which I wrote last summer. And, I also wanted to let everyone know about a really awesome new service in the Twin Cities. It's called Teeny Greenies. They are trying to help cloth diapers become mainstream once again. They help needy families obtain their diaper stash, and they also help not-so-needy families make the switch. I am so excited and want to help out somehow...someday. If you've got cloth diapers to donate, send them their way.

The "What the heck is she doing to me?" look.

*We were actually on a roll for a few weeks there, possibly thanks to taking our daily dose of elderberry. I was hoping that we might break our record for the longest number of days with no illness since S.J. was born. Darn.
**The weird thing is that she's been in a much better mood this week than last. She's hardly acted sick at all. I'm so thankful it wasn't any worse. I'm also so glad that she is breastfeeding. I'm positive that it has helped keep it a mild case of illness, and it's kept her hydrated. She hasn't had much of an appetite for solid foods at all. And, you should have seen the faces she made when I tried to get her to drink Pedialyte. But, through it all she's wanted to nurse frequently. Ahhh, the joys of breastfeeding.

Test Test Test

2009-02-09T21:24:00.010-06:00

The new design I promised previously, is FINALLY here! Well, mostly.

Please ignore any *temporary* glitches. I'm in the process of ironing those out. Alas, I'm tired and it's late. So the problems will have to be fixed another day.

In the meantime, enjoy the nice new banner design and the new colors. Do you like the colors? I went back and forth with the designer many times before settling on these.

Growing Like a Weed

2009-02-07T10:59:00.007-06:00

It's time for another ~~cranky Little Monster~~ Smiley Jo update. She continues to grow and progress much faster than I'm ready for.* So this post is for all of our distant (and not-so-distant) friends and relatives.

So here goes...a few fun facts about our darling little ~~Screaming~~ Smiley Jo:

She took her first unassisted steps on Thursday, January 29, 2009. At the (way too young) age of 10 months and one week. Yikes! Did I mention that this girl is motivated? Must be due to having an older sibling, because Punky Doodle didn't start walking until she was 14 months old.
She's mastered climbing all of the stairs, and she does it at lightning speed. Another yikes! Just today she figured out how to sneak past the chairs I had blocking the way. From now on I'll have to be much more vigilant about setting up that baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. Cause she always makes it up to (at least) stair number four before I can catch her.
Another one of her new tricks is a rolling R noise. It sounds like a little motorboat. I love it! Especially since I can't roll mine.**
She definitely knows the sign for milk. She's been doing it constantly all week. Did I mention it's been a rough week? Either she's growing or getting a tooth because she has been, quite literally, attached to me all week. I feel like I've been breastfeeding nonstop, day and night. And, boy is it tiring! (I'm exhausted.) And, difficult when she won't nap without me there or when she screams for the entire twenty-five minute car ride to a play date in Minneapolis. ***
She's a musical fish. She loves anything musical. And, she loves the bath tub. It is her most favorite thing in the whole world. You should see her splash! She doesn't even care if she slips and goes under. She doesn't care if water gets in her eyes. Which is so different from P.D. and the reason why P.D. insists on getting out of the tub before S.J. gets in.

* I swear that P.D. grew up at a much slower rate. I remember actually getting bored. Not anymore.
** Which explains why I studied German and French, and no Spanish.
***Yes, that did happen this week...and I'd forgotten my wallet at home too. How lovely! Though the lady at the art studio was super nice and let Punky Doodle do her project (Which she loved! Have I mentioned she's my little artist?) even though I didn't have any money with me. So I'm sending her a check and we'll be sure to visit the Simply Jane studio again. If you haven't yet, you really should check it out!

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2009-02-05T23:32:00.003-06:00

Can't write much. Too busy watching episodes from the first season of "30 Rock." And, laughing my head off. I am so happy that I decided to give this show a try.

Here are some lessons I've learned:

"30 Rock" is one of the funniest shows ever.
Tina Fey rocks. I love her. Quite possibly the funniest person alive.
Walking on the treadmill, taking a huge gulp of water and watching "30 Rock" at the same time, not a good idea.

Goin' Green in the Twin Cities

2009-01-29T10:33:00.012-06:00

Ever wonder how to locate eco-friendly businesses in the Twin Cities? Let EcoMetro help you! They sell a really great coupon book called the Blue Sky Guide. It's full of great information and will definitely save you money. That is, if you are trying to go green and live in the metro area.

This is the third year I've bought one and I think they are well worth the money. Especially, after I found a trading group last year. It was great to pass along some coupons I wouldn't be using and obtain more of the ones that I needed.

Last year we saved money on our CSA share, cloth diapers, my favorite coffee, pick your own berries,* purchases made at local co-ops, organic foods, and so much more! This year there are some new coupons in there. I can't wait to use them! Like a free yoga class at Blooma, a purchase at Twin Cities Green, and a free vermiculture composting class.**

*The other day I took some of those uneaten strawberries out of the freezer and enjoyed them with some vanilla ice cream. Oooh YUM! And, on this cold, white winter day there's nothing nicer than my warm memories of picking berries in the sun. I can NOT wait for next summer's berry season. And, I'm so thankful for local farmers like Sam Kedem who make all of that possible.
**Yeah, I never got around to getting worms set up. I checked out a book from the library. Read some of it. Wished I had a basement to keep the bin in. And, that was it. I'm such a loser sometimes. (That was a joke guys. Seriously. Guys. Don't start gettin' all worried about my mental health, I swear guys. It's a joke.) So I'm hopeful that taking the class would answer more questions. And, finally put the cabosh on my procrastination in the worm farm department.

I've Lost that Bloggin' Feelin'

2009-01-25T22:30:00.002-06:00

Not sure what it is. Winter malaise? Writer's block? A simple lack of motivation? Or, maybe I just allowed myself to become busy with other things? Somehow, more than a week has gone by and I haven't posted. A thing. I had lots of ideas for posts, but none of them came to fruition. Somehow the time flew by and nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Shame. Shame. Shame on me.

It turns out that unlike cooperation, procrastination does *not* make it happen. Though I will say that procrastinating on my latest blog entry has made it possible for me to get some other things done this week. For instance, I finally cleaned up my kitchen so that it sparkled.* I made a delicious chocolate cake. And, I also found time to have a migraine, which meant I've enjoyed a weekend filled with nausea and pain.

Since I've been MIA all week, I'll go ahead and give you a little recap of this week's highlights. We stayed home almost all week. Wednesday was the only day we drove anywhere, because that was the only day Punky Doodle had preschool this week. And, we did manage to get out and play in the snow on one of the warmer days. It was a balmy twenty-five degrees outside. Which almost felt like spring to us after all of the frigid weather we've had. Punky Doodle and I had fun making snow angels and sledding down our little hill. I tried pulling Smiley Jo around in the sled, but it didn't end well. She lost her balance and fell face first into the snow. So that brought a swift end to her winter time fun.

Over all Smiley Jo has been keeping me very busy lately. She cruises all over and is still (stubbornly) in love with night lights and trying to play with the toilet.** Her sixth and seventh tooth are on there way in. And, she (like the rest of us) loves Dan Zanes. I recently checked out one of his CD's from the library. A huge smile forms on her face every time I put it on. Let me tell you the girl can dance! And, adorable baby dancing at that.

Look at that cute little, smiley monster:

Don't you love that snaggletooth? Lucky for her the other teeth aren't too far behind.

*Except for the floors. I still need to mop those. Hey, nobody's perfect.
**What is so dang intriguing about the back of the toilet? There's nothing good back there, little child. I swear I'm not trying to keep something special from you.

I Like Mine Crunchy

2009-01-17T20:40:00.003-06:00

Meet the new breakfast ~~lunch, dinner, and/or midnight snack~~ of champions: Cascadian Farms Cinnamon Raisin Granola. Best.granola.ever.

Should it come as any surprise that one of my favorite foods is granola? I am so addicted to the stuff. So is the Regime. And, Punky Doodle doesn't think it's too bad either.

It's a real ~~catastrophe~~ bummer whenever we don't have any in the house. God forbid we run out of milk. Yes, I know how to make my own granola. But, this is (actually) better and easier. The only drawback, it's definitely not cheaper. Don't even try to buy it at the co-op at full price. You'd go broke if you become addicted. My advice, make a run to Super Target and get it on the cheap.

Think Warm Thoughts

2009-01-13T14:45:00.012-06:00

I might have mentioned this before, but we are having a brutally cold, extra snowy winter. I'm trying not to concentrate on the negatives, like negative 4, which is the temp outside right now. Trying to be grateful for the good in my life. So...I'm trying....here goes...the sun was shining today. And, I didn't have to leave the house. Hallelujah.

Also, the Regime shrink wrapped the patio door and windows. All but one, because we ran out of plastic, and that window has big chunks of ice growing on it. We are hoping the plastic covered windows will help with the heating bill, since our furnace runs almost nonstop when the weather dips below zero out there.

And, lastly I am thankful for being with my sweet girls and for this conversation with Punky Doodle:

P.D.: I want to go out and play in the snow.
Me: Sorry, not today. It is WAY too cold out there. Dangerously cold. We'd get frostbite.
P.D.: We should move to Texas. It's warm there right?
Me: Yes, it's warm there.
P.D.: Wait. Do they have killing bees there?*
Me: Yes.
P.D.: Well, maybe we could move to where Jack Johnson lives. Where does he live?**
Me: Hawaii.
P.D.: Do they have killing bees there?
Me: I don't think so.
P.D.: There's water there. We could go swimming.
Me: Yes. It's really nice there.
P.D.: We should move there.
Me: That sounds wonderful, but your dad doesn't want to live there. Maybe when you get older you could move there and take me with you.
P.D.: But, wait, we would need money.
Me: Yes, it's expensive to live there.
P.D.: Well, we could move there and have Daddy send us the money we need.
Me: (laughing) Sounds like a great plan, but I don't think Daddy would go for that.

*The Regime hates killer bees. He refuses to live anywhere they do. So Punky Doodle has been taught all about Africanized bees and that they live in warmer places. So you see, there are some good things about living in the tundra.
** We are big Jack Johnson fans. So we've talked about him quite a bit. And, I've told her about my dreams of going to Hawaii for the Kokua Festival.

Brutal Honesty

2009-01-08T23:14:00.002-06:00

Punky Doodle strikes again. An excerpt from one of our recent conversations:

P.D. : Mom you must have a bad life.
Me: Why?
P.D.: Because you always forget stuff and you have bumps on your face.

And, she's right. About two things. I do have a faulty memory and acne issues. Fortunately, she is wrong about the bad life part. At least, from my perspective (most days).

Allrecipes Addiction

2009-01-04T11:20:00.001-06:00

It all began last summer when we started receiving all kinds of produce from the CSA. And, I didn't know what to do with a good percentage of it. So I turned to allrecipes.com. They have an amazing feature which allows you to search for recipes with or without certain ingredients. I absolutely love it!

It doesn't end there. I recently decided to make a profile on allrecipes. Now I can save recipes to my recipe box and rate them. It's too much fun. Also, it's really great to look at the reviews and ratings when you are deciding which recipe to use. Much more helpful than your standard cookbook.

This week I had to figure out what to do with some leftover buttermilk.* And, I had some extremely ripe bananas on my counter. My allrecipes search did not disappoint. It turned up this keeper: Best Ever Banana Bread. I made it with chocolate chips instead of the nuts per Punky Doodle's request. She even helped me make it. And, best of all it was the most delicious, moist banana bread I've ever made! And, I've made lots and lots of banana bread. **

A long, long time ago (not so far away) I used to make Banana Bread with Chocolate Chips as a thank you gift for helpful friends. If only I'd had this recipe back then. They would've been thanking me.

*My husband has been requesting a very involved, from scratch, German Chocolate Cake for years now. Too bad I didn't botch the first one I made five years ago. Cause it's really a lot of work. Which is why it took a whole five years before I would even consider tackling the (The Joy of Cooking) recipe again. Here's a picture of it (sorry I forgot to snag a photo of the bread):

**Mostly before kids. When I had lots of time on my hands. Did I mention that I love to bake? Bake, not cook. When I have the time. Which isn't often anymore.

Boing

2008-12-30T20:00:00.000-06:00

One of the first things Smiley Jo discovered, and had to figure out, after learning how to crawl were the ~~crappy~~ awesome door stops that we have in our house.

They are just so much fun to grab and release. Over and over again. Ahhh, baby heaven.

Budding Photographer

2008-12-29T20:22:00.002-06:00

Have you ever wondered what life looks like from a four year old's perspective? Then hand them a camera and enjoy the interesting results.

Punky Doodle loves taking pictures with the old camera. You know, the one that was almost toast thanks to my haste and clumsiness.*

These photos are all © Punky Doodle Studios. Including the last one, which she took after her dad showed her how to use the timer feature. I imagine her saying (with a Zsa Zsa Gabor accent.), "I am zee amazing Punky Doodle, and zis is my art, darling."

* The Regime located an old lens that went to a Canon 35 mm film camera we have. Luckily that lens also works on what is now Punky Doodle's digital camera. Though the camera has some other problems (which is why we replaced it) yet it works perfectly as a practice camera for her. What a lucky (and, might I add, talented) girl!

Make it a Carbon Neutral Holiday

2008-12-25T12:01:00.009-06:00

Here's my green gift to all of my dear readers and friends:

And, by the way, there are only fifty of them. First come, first serve. So go claim your gift already!

Questioning Everything

2008-12-21T22:21:00.003-06:00

I've been inundated with questions ever since Punky Doodle turned four.

Here's a conversation we had last week:

P.D.: Where does the stuff in the toilet go when I flush it?
Me: To the sewer.
P.D.: What? How does it get there?
Me: Well, it goes through the pipes and, actually, it ends up at the waste water treatment plant.
P.D.: What's a waste water treatment plant?
Me: That's where they clean the water.
P.D.: How do they clean the water?
Me (exasperated): I don't remember. I know I learned that in school but I don't know now. Ask your dad, maybe he knows.

This is a pretty common conversation style with us. Lots of questions about all kinds of subjects until we get to the point where I no longer have the answers, and I tell her to go ask her dad.

Last week she also asked these two questions: "Do Grandma and Grandpa believe in pink?" and "Do Grandma and Grandpa believe in dancing?" The last one she was able to answer herself. "Oh, they must believe in dancing. Grandma watches Dancing with the Stars."

And, yes they do believe in pink. They just don't believe in celebrating holidays like Christmas and birthdays. I'm guessing that's why she was asking.

Jack Frost Nipping Everywhere

2008-12-16T23:35:00.004-06:00

Dreams of running far, far away are in full force. Why? Because I live in the land of 10,000 frozen lakes. If you aren't from Minnesota, can you guess how cold it is here? Hint: It may be colder than you've ever experienced in your lifetime.

This morning's low temperature in the Twin Cities was eleven degrees below zero. And, with the wind it feels much, much worse. Wind Chill: -30° F.

I am so very glad I was cozy and warm under the covers this morning, cuddled up with my little Smiley Jo heater. And, that we didn't have to leave the house today. The girls didn't go out yesterday either. The Regime said preschool would have to be skipped.* He didn't want them out in the subzero temps. Unfortunately, I had to go out in the afternoon because I had an oh-so-lovely dental appointment.**

Today I made sure The Regime took my cell phone with him to work. Cause I worry about the car breaking down and him freezing to death. Especially when he's only wearing a t-shirt under a lightweight jacket. I tried to convince him to wear his warmest coat, but it was no use. He informed me that the warmer jacket hadn't been washed yet. # Native Minnesotans are a rare breed indeed.

And, this is what happens when I forget to put my winter stuff away:

*The drop off for preschool is bad. The parking spaces are very far from the building and you have to walk all the way to the classroom. Also, Punky Doodle had a slight case of the sniffles.
**Really it was awful. But, I had to. I'd already put it off for two years. The good news, no cavities. The bad news, I had a sadistic dental hygienist. My gums are still recovering and I envisioned myself jumping out of the chair and running away (more than once) during the cleaning.
#You think that's bad? When he was younger he would never even wear a coat. So I feel happy just to see him in a coat. I'm not gonna fight over which coat is clean enough...did I mention he's sort of a clean freak?

Progress Report

2008-12-12T20:29:00.002-06:00

For those of you who don't get to delight regularly in Smiley Jo's veritable presence, I just wanted to update you on all of her forward progress. She is advancing and growing so quickly. This will be your 8 month* update.

She has officially mastered the forward crawl. That one took her a while to get the hang of. The coordination was tricky. It was so sad and cute. Her legs would move her forward, while her arms stayed put, resulting in a nosedive. Every time. She finally got the hang of it during Thanksgiving week. Now she's into everything. If she sees something she wants she is there in a flash. You could say it's quite a bit busier around here these days. We are on constant floor sweeping patrol. And, don't worry, if you miss a little something, like that gross piece of dried up enchilada under the table, she'll find it for ya.** She'll even taste it while you make a mad dash to wrestle it from her tight baby clutches.

And, that's not all. She hardly gave me anytime to delight in her new crawling skill when she decided to add to her quickly growing bag of tricks. Since Thanksgiving she has mastered these new skills: the crawling to sitting position, pulling herself up to stand, cruising along the furniture, and trying to climb the stairs. Ahhh! Once this girl gets going I swear there's no stopping her. What motivation! You might say (from my perspective) too much.

She's also started eating small foods, like little pieces of cheese and Cheerios. She absolutely loves feeding herself (especially the cheese) and hardly tolerates my spoon feeding her. She does pretty well with the table foods when you consider the fact that she only has two bottom teeth. Although she's getting her third one up on top, as we speak.

I've also started showing her some sign language. She's got the sign for milk down pat. And, she loves to ask to nurse at the worst possible times. Like when we are rushing out the door to take Punky Doodle to preschool. That's alright though, cause it's just so dang cute.

A few of her other tricks, which aren't all so new, but that I haven't mentioned previously include (but aren't limited to):

Saying a few words. Like Mama, Dada, and Punky Doodle's real name.
Waving.
Clapping her hands.
Repeatedly dropping things from her high chair.#
Throwing a fit when she's not getting her way.
Screaming at her dad if he comes home from work and walks past her. She lets him know that he'd better give her some love and attention. Pronto.

* She'll be 9 months old in a little more than a week...but most of these advancements occurred during her 8th month.
** Or that really gross piece of who-the-heck-knows-what hiding under the oven. Seriously. She stuck her little baby hand right under there and snatched it. Bleck! Good thing I caught her red handed.
# I swear she's conducting an experiment to see how many times in a row that she can get me to pick things up.

Market Forecast

2008-12-09T07:40:00.015-06:00

Gloomy, miserable, wanna-rip-your-hair-out painful. Yes, it's bad folks and it's looking like it's gonna get even worse.

Want to know how to make tens of thousands of dollars vanish into thin air? Buy a house in the mid-2000's. Then watch as your home value plummets. Ever wonder how the current housing market could have come about? Then please, listen to this episode of This American Life.* It does an excellent job of explaining it all.

It makes me sick to think about it. And, I know I should be concentrating on the positives and be grateful for the good things. Oh, but it can be so hard to do that right now. I wish I could go back and rent a place for the past four years. Then I'd still have a bunch of money in the bank. I can think of lots of great things to do with that money, other than flushing it down the toilet on a new townhouse. Things like: A college fund for the girls, or for me even. Quite a few vacations, to far off places like Europe and Hawaii. Or a Prius. Funny, that buying a car would have been the better investment. I remember believing that cars lose value while houses gain value. And, that was true previously. Back when banks actually followed some sort of criteria when choosing who they should lend to and for how much.**

I've actually had to stop *gasp* listening to MPR. I just had to take a break. I do like to be informed, but not if it's gonna cost me my mental health. That is just too high of a price to pay for being in the know. So I listen to happy-go-lucky music instead. I'll let the Regime listen to all the depressing, anxiety provoking economic news and he can tell me anything I really need to know.#

By the way, I'm ready to sell my house now (if I even could) and cut my losses. I just hate to think of being stuck here for ages. It's not really where I want to be. Punky Doodle starts kindergarten in about a year and a half. What will the housing market be like then? I really don't want to drive 20 minutes to and 20 minutes from her school each day.## That would be an hour and 20 minutes of driving each day. Bleck!

So how are you handling the stormy economic weather? Hopefully, a heck of a lot better than me.

* It's a great program. The best. Listen to lots and lots of episodes if you have the time. You can listen for free online. I like to listen to it while washing dishes. The Regime listens at work when he has mindless tasks to do. It sure helps you get through the drudgery.
** Of course, now they've gone back to their criteria, and though it makes it tougher for now, it will be better in the long run. I hope they've learned their lesson and never do that again. But, I'm doubtful because history has a way of repeating itself.
# For instance, start living on a really tight budget and saving all your pennies. Be prepared for the next Great Depression. I think I'm just gonna start listening to the Fireside Chats right now. Or Obama's version. Does this mean the Regime will get his dream job of driving a street sweeper (I'm not joking) one day? Or a green job?
## The Regime really wants her to go to the Chinese Immersion school. Unfortunately, we don't live nearby.

A Slight Mispronunciation

2008-12-03T22:30:00.003-06:00

Over the weekend, Punky Doodle noticed that there are a lot of games up in our closet. And, she wanted to play some. I explained that most of them are for when she gets older and a bunch of the boxes up there are actually puzzles. But I did notice one game that I thought she might be able to enjoy now. So I mentioned it and said that maybe we could play it soon.

Here's an excerpt from the conversation we had a couple of days later:

P.D.: I want to play Nazi.
Me: What? No. Oh. You mean Yahtzee.

So I thought I corrected it. But, the mispronunciation keeps coming. It is followed by my husband goose-stepping around the house, my laughter and Punky Doodle's innocent, what-the-heck-is-going on, look.

Punky Doodle's first ever Yahtzee*:

*And, yes The Regime did get a little miffed about the blogarazzi interrupting our family fun in order to get that picture.

To Shop or Not to Shop

2008-11-28T23:19:00.011-06:00

So this morning was your chance to pick up the deals of the century, shop til you drop, and wait in long lines. Most people know of this day as Black Friday. But, it's also known in granola land as Buy Nothing Day.

That's what it was for me. This year and last. And, probably even the year before that. I wish I could say it was completely due to my hatred of consumerism and love of being crunchy. Alas, those aren't the only, or even the main reasons for why I stayed far, far away from the cash register today.

The honest to goodness truth is that I just wasn't interested. Waking up at what time? Some stores opened at 4 A.M. That's just plain crazy.* Besides my hatred of getting out of the bed in the morning, I hate crowds (and confrontation), and I don't like spending money when I'm anxious about our economic future. And, as I'm sure you are aware, a really fantastic, awesome good deal on something you don't need and weren't planning to buy anyway, isn't a deal at all.

So I stayed in my nice warm house. I didn't leave the house at all today. I just enjoyed the day with my family. And fortunately, yesterday I started feeling better and not worse. So we had a nice Thanksgiving Day and I was spewing gratitude all over the place. Gobs and gobs of thankfulness. And, we didn't even have any turkey.

*I'd rather pay more and sleep in. Sleep is precious around here and worth every penny.

Flu Fighter

2008-11-26T22:05:00.009-06:00

I'm gonna be thankful tomorrow, if I am feeling better and not worse. We are fighting colds. Again. But this time I have a new virus fighting weapon in my arsenal. And, so I'm feeling pretty confident that I will be spewing gratitude (as I should) tomorrow.

What's my virus fighter, you wonder? Elderberry extract. It has been a folk remedy for ages, and at least one study has shown it's efficacy. Yes, that study involved people with the flu. Still I'll take my chances and hope that it helps with colds too. It couldn't hurt. It's even safe for kids. And, the syrup I bought is as sweet as candy to boot. Maybe I've found the key to surviving Punky Doodle's preschool days after all.

Want to read more? Check out this article about an Israeli virologist who's studying it's usefulness in fighting the avian flu. Elderberries could save lives when the next flu pandemic hits. Who knew? Oh, that's right, your great grandmother.

A Mountainous Endeavor

2008-11-23T12:20:00.007-06:00

It's a sad day for my husband. I'm sorry to announce that all * of the Legos have been packed away. The Lego sabbatical, which I mentioned before, has officially begun.

It had to happen. Smiley Jo has turned into a very fast roly poly bug. She rolls all over the place and gets into everything. She has also been trying to master the fine art of crawling. So far she just ends up going backwards and getting totally frustrated. But, don't let that fool you. She can get where she wants in a hurry. So you really can't take your eyes off of her, and you definitely can't risk having little, chokeable toys laying around.

Before packing everything up, my husband decided to make his tour de force. In my opinion, it really was his best Lego creation to date. It should be on display somewhere. I truly believe that. But, he wanted to be Zen ** about it. So he didn't hang onto it.

What was this masterpiece, you ask? It turns out my husband is really good at making a mountain out of a ~~molehill~~ big pile of Legos. And, not just any mountain, but a mountain with a castle on top, a cave inside and a waterfall, farm, and trees out front. He even added his very own "bridge to nowhere." Here's a picture of it, the only pic he allowed me to post, because all of the photos taken of it are copyright The Regime:

This masterpiece was quite an undertaking. For months he would head up to Punky Doodle's room after work and get building. It was a great daily routine, because Punky Doodle would either build with him or play with other various toys in her room. And, she would almost always blast the Fleetwood Mac album, Rumours. For some reason she really loves that album. Her favorite song being, "Don't Stop." So of course, there was lots of dancing and singing as well. Smiley Jo would also hang out with them and play with her baby toys or bounce like crazy in her Johnny Jump Up. All of that added up to a really great break for me. So I never knew this would happen, but I'm missing those Legos too.

*The only ones left out are the really big blocks. Technically they are duplos. Here's a pic of Smiley Jo getting into the duplos, taken just this morning with our new camera:

**Like the beautiful mandalas created by Buddhist monks and then swept away to symbolize the impermanence of all that exists. It's a good lesson for all of us to learn.

Something Has Got to Give

2008-11-19T10:11:00.007-06:00

No, I don't want to stop blogging. It's therapeutic for me. And, I know that years down the road it will be really great to have a detailed summary of the joys and trials of motherhood. I really do like writing when I have the time and energy. Unfortunately, I don't have much of either these days. That's why my posts are few and far between. In fact, I am stealing time from other tasks as we speak. And, usually I steal time to write when I should really be sleeping.

Lately, I've been feeling in way over my head. Two kids is a lot of work, especially when you don't have family around to help. And, I just don't have enough time in the day to get everything done. Or, maybe it's more of a time management problem. Did I ever mention that I royally suck at ~~being a mom~~ managing my time? I am somewhat of a procrastinator. And, I love going on the internet. Not a good combination.

So I am thinking I am just gonna have to get out of the bad habit of sitting on the computer. I will still blog. But, I probably won't have time to keep up with reading everyone else's blogs or my meetup groups. Waaa waaaa.

Help is Available

2008-11-13T23:13:00.000-06:00

So if you have been reading this blog, you know that I've been down before. After Punky Doodle was born, I struggled with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I felt so totally alone and helpless. Overwhelmed, exhausted and lacking support. Scared, panicked, and anxious. Suicidal, hopeless and stuck in a black pit of despair. And, even after all of that, I would still call myself very lucky. Why? Here's why: The story of Jenny and her son Graham.

It's such a heartbreaking story, I cried for quite a long time after reading her story and watching the memorial video. My sympathy goes out to her family and friends. And, I am thankful to them for turning their sadness into something positive. An organization called Jenny's Light, which will help mothers who are suffering. So often I've felt like there is a lack of support for PPD. This is a step in the right direction.

Self-help for Postpartum Depression

Find someone you can talk to about your feelings.
Find people who can help you with child care, housework, and errands so you can get some much needed rest.
Make time for yourself every day, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Do something relaxing or that makes you feel good about yourself.
Keep a daily diary of your emotions and thoughts. This is a good way to let everything out and to keep track of your progress as you begin to feel better.
Give yourself credit for the things you’re able to accomplish, even if you only get one thing done in a day. If you aren’t able to get anything done, don’t be hard on yourself.
Give yourself permission to feel overwhelmed.
Remember that no one expects you to be supermom.
Be honest about how much you can do and ask others for help.
Join a support group.

Source: American Academy of Family Physicians

Going Green Makes Him See Red

2008-11-11T23:32:00.002-06:00

So we can fit both cars into the garage. But, just barely and that's only because my husband's car feels more like a go-cart.* So yesterday, my husband came home from work and wanted nothing more than to ~~throw away everything in sight~~ clean out the garage and make more room for his car. He got mad that I hold on to so many things, in hopes of finding them new homes and a second life.**

Like the vertical blinds we just replaced. Some of the slats were missing. Garbage, right? But, wait a minute. Maybe someone else has the same problem we were having and could really use some replacement slats. What's wrong with my thinking? The problem is that you have to find the person who wants the junk. That takes effort. And, time. On the other hand, my husband's way, tossing it out on the curb for the garbage man takes little time and little effort.

I really want to be living green. I'm trying. But, some days it's hard. Especially, when you have two small children who keep you very busy. And, a husband who is more interested in a clean, neat home than a green one. The Regime wants all of the stuff gone. Which means I need to get it out of here. Yesterday. That includes the plastics I've been saving.***

I really don't want my obsession with going green to cause fights. Which is exactly what it did yesterday afternoon. My husband said that I'm all Soggy, no Granola. If I'm gonna talk about it, I actually need to do it. He also let me know that trying to be green is my hobby. So that means it's up to me. After all, as he says, he doesn't make me help him with his Lego projects. So why should he be forced to help me keep stuff out of the landfill.#

So I got to work yesterday evening. I posted a bunch of stuff on craigslist and just watched all of the emails roll in. There are lots of people who actually want our junk. Woo hoo! I'm so happy about that. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

*Seriously. Toyota Echos are really compact. Great for parking in tight spaces and getting good gas mileage, not so good for family vacations or hauling stuff.
**Really, I have a problem. If something might be salvageable, I can't stand to throw it out. It literally pains me to do it.
***Unfortunately, a bag of those RECYCLABLE plastics did find it's way out of here yesterday. That is one of the things he threw away against my will. You see, I've been saving them because the Eastside Co-Op in Minneapolis has a special recycling program for all of the plastics that you would normally have to throw away. But, it's a drive to get there so I save them and take them every so often. I guess I'll be making a trip up there this weekend.
#He's got a point there. How can I argue that?

By the way, here's the info for the Plastics Recycling Program at Eastside Food Co-op:

Thursdays, 3:30 to 7:30 p.m.
Saturdays, 10:00 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Plastics accepted:
#1 PET
#2 HDPE
#3 PVC
#4 LDPE
#5 PP
#6 PS - NO foam - no foam cups, plates, or packing material - even if it's marked with a #6, it's not recyclable.

UNACCEPTABLE MATERIAL:
*Un-rinsed plastics or plastic with a lot of food waste -- we just have to throw those in the trash. If they are not free of food waste, don't bring them here!
*"Lined" plastic bags, i.e. bags that hold cheese or meat in vacuum seals -- these are not recyclable.
*Foam -- if even it's marked!
*#7 PLA Plastic -- please do not bring plastic food containers -- they are the corn-based plastics that are "compostable" -- they aren't recyclable. Other #7's can be brought because they are usually a high recycle value. But No #7 PLA -- we will have to throw those in the trash.

Going Faster than a Roller Coaster

2008-11-08T10:27:00.009-06:00

Today marks four years. Four years since I got to hold you for the first time and gaze into your beautiful eyes. I'd dreamt of that moment so many times and you didn't disappoint. You were so tiny* then. I can't believe how much you've grown and all that you have learned in that short time. You are amazing, and I love you so very much!

Happy fourth birthday, Punky Doodle!

The following pictures** were captured at her party on Thursday:

*Seven pounds and one ounce of tiny baby cuteness, to be exact.
**Photos copyright Erinn Letts. And, I want to thank her and all the others who took photos for me at the party. If you weren't there, and haven't heard, there's some bad news. Our camera is toast. In my haste the morning of the party, I grabbed up the camera to take it downstairs, and at that same moment my clumsiness struck. Alas, it tumbled to the floor and the lens was broken.

The Day is Finally Here

2008-11-04T11:29:00.010-06:00

I am super busy today, so this is gonna be short and sweet, and no time to add any fancy pictures.* We are having friends over on Thursday, so I am in the midst of cleaning up my house. Not to mention, the fact that we have constantly runny noses** over here, ever since Punky Doodle started preschool. We live in a state of permacolds, we just barely get over one and then another begins. I am so sick of being sick...but that is not really what I wanted to talk about today.

Today, as you know, is election day. So if you aren't morally opposed to the idea*** and haven't done it yet, please go vote! Polling places are open until 8 pm tonight.

Last night I told Punky Doodle that today is the day we get to vote. Her response was, "WOO HOO, Obama! Obama! Obama!" Said in a very loud excited tone, while jumping up and down on her bed. Can you guess who her parents are supporting?

As you have probably already guessed, I'm hoping Obama has convinced you to vote for him today. And, like you I will be so glad for this campaign to be finally over.

*Sorry. But, I figure that this hastily written post is better than nothing.
**If you are coming on Thursday...I will be sanitizing all of the toys before you get here. And, hopefully, we get better and not worse between now and then. I'm trying everything. In fact I gave P.D. some Airborne for kids this morning and we are also trying Zicam rapid melts. Hopefully something helps. I'm at my wit's end and feel like quitting preschool over it.
***And, I know some of my readers are. I do not mean to offend you. I think it's great we live in a free country which allows me to vote and those who don't want to...the right not to. But, this being the first time for me to vote in a presidential election and since I think it's pretty important, I had to say something.

Good Morning Sunshine

2008-11-02T07:59:00.012-06:00

I think my alarm clock was broken this morning. It didn't take the time change into account. My little alarm started vocalizing ~~so early I wanted to shoot myself~~ at 6:30 AM.* Every morning I try hitting the snooze button,** alas, she doesn't have one. Or at least I haven't found it yet.

I am NOT a morning person. You think I move in slow motion normally? Just imagine when I'm still wiping the sleep from my eyes. Yes, I wake up when she starts squawking. But, it takes me a while to actually roll out of the bed. I'm pretty sure I'm slower than molasses and just as energetic.

My Special Edition Smiley Jo Alarm Clock:

*So much for that extra hour of sleep I really could have used. Babies don't believe in that hooey.
*No, I don't actually hit her. But, I do try nursing her back to sleep. Usually she wants none of that. Instead she continues her efforts to rouse me from my slumber.

The Ups and Downs of CSA Sharing

2008-11-01T16:49:00.004-05:00

So we had a couple of CSA shares this summer. Last Thursday was our last fruit delivery and Sunday was the end of the vegetables. I learned a few things along the way. I'm gonna share the good, the bad and the ugly of purchasing and splitting two CSA shares. You want the good news first? Ah, no.* Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first, and save the best for last.

Here we go. Some of the things I did NOT like about the CSA shares. The main one, driving (and the time it consumed). We had to drive to Minneapolis every Sunday to pick up veggies, and on a fruit share week we'd be heading there on Thursday as well. Since we live way too far away from everything, we would have had to drive no matter what, but I still didn't love that part. I know that the O'Malley's agree that we should have gotten the fruit and veggies through the same farm. This would have cut down on the driving on the fruit weeks. And, we liked our fruit share, and the quality of it, better than the vegetable share and wished we had gotten everything through Harmony Valley Farm.

Another issue, was the time it takes to prep and cook fresh produce. If my kids were five and eight, I think it would be a lot easier to find the time to prep and cook culinary masterpieces. Alas, I have a baby and a preschooler and they are pretty demanding. So spending hours** in the kitchen isn't always feasible. Which leads to another problem. Still having a full vegetable drawer on Sunday and having to pick up MORE vegetables. So needless to say, some veggies did not get eaten, but ended up wasted. (I really should have had a worm bin!) Which makes me very sad. But, a lot of times I just couldn't keep up with the pace. I think splitting an every other week veggie share would be more realistic for my family.

One last thing I didn't like and then I'll move on to the positives. That was that you don't get to pick what you get. You get what the farm wants to give you. I was really hoping for more carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, and corn. You know, veggies you are used to eating and actually know how to prepare. I spent so much time on Allrecipes trying to figure out how to use veggies like leeks and beets. (I never did figure out the beets...but the leeks are great in colcannon with kale).

During the course of the season, I also learned something I already suspected. My husband and Punky Doodle aren't huge veggie fans. So I ended up having to eat a large portion of the veggies. Good for me, yes. But, I don't love vegetables THAT much. Yet another reason why a lot got wasted. Fortunately, my in-laws helped with some of this. I tried pawning off as much as I could onto them. Like cucumbers, which make me gag. Bleck! And, that extremely hot pepper that almost gave my father-in-law a heart attack.***

I really did like it overall, and the experience did leave a good taste in my mouth. Yes, pun intended. Those last pears were to die for. And, so were the medjool dates. Which I didn't even know that I liked. Of course we liked the fruit more than the veggies, but who wouldn't? Pears, peaches, pluots, apples, grapes, and so on. Yum. I am really going to miss having so much delicious fruit around.

I also liked that the CSA made me try things I never would have tried otherwise. (See this was good and bad.) I never knew that there were purple carrots or what a garlic scape was. I also found out that I love kale. And, it is really good for you. I found a great soup recipe for it, which I plan to continue making. I really love Arugula too. Which brings me to the next positive, as Obama said the prices at the store are really high. It was a very good deal for all of the organic produce we received, and at the same time we got to feel good about supporting local organic farms.

I was also able to save money by making some of my own baby food. Which leads to yet another positive, I finally used my food processor. A lot. My husband bought me a really nice food processor a while back. To my everlasting shame, it sat untouched for longer than I want to admit. (It was longer than a year, I'll tell you that much.) The vegetable share finally pushed me to learn how to use it. (See, honey, you do buy me great presents. Even if I don't use them right away.) Now I wonder how I ever got along with out it.

One last good thing about the CSA. We got to see the O'Malley's every week. I'm really gonna miss seeing them all the time. I guess we'll just have to plan more playdates.

Here are those purple carrots:

*My apologies if you are one to ask for the good news first.
**Seriously, I move and chop so slowly, I couldn't cook quickly to save my life. I guess that means no Top Chef for me.
***Really, I wasn't trying to kill him. I don't like hot peppers and he does. And, who knew it was going to be THAT hot?!

Vote Yes for a Cleaner Minnesota

2008-10-28T22:47:00.000-05:00

Do you love Minnesota's beautiful lakes, rivers, wetlands, forests, parks and trails? You don't? What? Is there something wrong with you? Oh, you said you do. Of course you do. How could you not? And, if you've never experienced the outdoors here, I can tell you that you are seriously missing out. Come visit me, and let's go hiking. It is one of my favorite pastimes.*

I've had some of the best times of my life hiking on Minnesota's trails. And, I hope that these natural spaces will be maintained well into the future. Unfortunately, causes such as this often get the short end of the stick when it comes to funding. But, this year if you are voting in Minnesota you'll have a chance to change that. We can guarantee funding by voting yes for the Clean Water, Land and Legacy Amendment.

If it passes it will raise our sales tax from 6.5% to 6.875%. This means you'll have to shell out an extra four cents for every $10. But, I hope you agree with me, and feel that our water and natural spaces are worth that measly increase. Really, it isn't much to pay in order to keep our beautiful state, just that, beautiful.

If you live in Minnesota try to get the word out, because every time someone doesn't answer the question on the ballot it gets counted as a no. And, according to a recent Star Tribune poll, a majority of Minnesotans do favor this amendment.

*Weather permitting, that is.

Compassionate Eating

2008-10-27T23:20:00.008-05:00

I wonder how many of you are aware of the fact that I'm a vegetarian. In fact, we all are in this house. I haven't really talked about it much. Well, now that I think of it maybe I have at least mentioned it once before. Today I'm very motivated to broach this subject.

I want to explain my reasons and views on this subject. Hopefully I don't turn any of you off, but I watched something (so awful it made me cry) recently (Warning: Don't watch that with kids around, it has loads of swearing and cruelty.), which made me want to write about this.

We are lacto-ovo vegetarians. I think I'd definitely lose some weight if we went vegan, but I don't know that I could do it. I really, really love dairy products and eggs. And, I already miss meat. I am not afraid to admit that. I grew up eating it, and darn it, it tastes good. But, then I see or hear about the cruelty that goes on and that makes me so sick to my stomach that all desire for meat quickly vanishes. And, I admit I ate some meat during my last pregnancy, when I was really ill and afraid I wasn't getting enough protein. But, now that I'm no longer in that situation, I've resolved to be a vegetarian once more.

I originally made the switch shortly after we stopped being active Jehovah's Witnesses. My husband and Punky Doodle have been vegetarian since then. (Almost three years, way to go guys!) Because that's when we started to question everything in our lives, including our then omnivore status. We used to believe that God had given us the all clear to eat meat. Suddenly we weren't so sure of that. Add my interest in Zen Buddhism to the equation, and voilà, no more meat.

Buddhists aren't necessarily vegetarian, though it fits in well with their ideology. I'll be honest here, and tell you that I've been slacking in the Buddhism department. And, trust me, I can feel my lack of Zen and it's ill effects in my life.* I fess up because I don't really remember all of the reasoning, well at least not enough to give a great explanation. What I do remember is the idea of living a compassionate life. Also, that life is suffering and we wouldn't want to add to the suffering in this world.

Compassion is one great reason to go veg, but there is more than just that. It's better for your health. It's better for the environment. And, if you like beans, you can eat really cheap!

Yes, I know that PETA can get a little wacky. Breast milk ice cream, say what? I'm really not that crunchy! Still, they do provide good information on going vegetarian and buying cruelty free products. So if you are interested in giving vegetarianism a trial run,** clickedy click click on zee button.

*Anybody want to join me for a dharma talk at the Zen center sometime?
**If you aren't interested in giving it a try, I understand. I don't judge anyone and I feel it is a very personal decision for each of us to make. I want people to respect my choice to not eat meat, therefore I respect their right to eat meat.

Maybe Dentists Aren't Evil After All

2008-10-24T21:50:00.000-05:00

Punky Doodle had her first dental appointment this week. She did great! Absolutely better than me. I was sitting in the other chair, the normal, less scary one, and I was the one who was nervous. I tried my best to hide my anxiety from her. And, I'd say that considering the way she performed, she didn't notice.

Check out the cool shades that they let the kids wear to block out the bright light:

I was so afraid they'd get the X-rays back and have bad news for us. Unfortunately, that is how almost every dental visit, in my life, has gone. So it's no wonder, that seeing those little pictures of teeth make me shake like a leaf. I have vivid memories of my brother being declared almost saintly for his lack of cavities. My brother who brushed his teeth half as often as me, and never flossed. Meanwhile I was scolded for my lack of dental hygiene, and told to make an appointment for more dreaded fillings. Grrr.

I really was hoping that her teeth were better than mine. I am happy to say I got my wish! She was declared cavity free, walking away with no need for any extra appointments.

Apples, and Pumpkins, and Grandma, Oh My!

2008-10-20T14:19:00.001-05:00

On Saturday afternoon, we got to enjoy the fall weather at a local apple orchard. My mother in-law got to come too. It was quite the adventure for her because she has polymyositis. This illness makes it very hard for her to get out of the house, as it affects her muscle function. So having her with us was a very special treat!

They had the best baking apples known to man, Haralsons. (Exaggeration? Maybe, but they are really great for pies and crisp). So we picked a peck. Literally.

Yesterday, while enjoying the fruit of our labor, Punky Doodle said: "It has apples, it has crisp. That's why it's called APPLE CRISP!"

Here's the Betty Crocker recipe I use, though I double it and use a 9 x 13 inch pan:

APPLE CRISP

4	medium tart cooking apples, sliced (4 cups)
3/4	cup packed brown sugar
1/2	cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/2	cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats
1/3	cup butter or margarine, softened
3/4	teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4	teaspoon ground nutmeg
	Cream or Ice cream, if desired

1.	Heat oven to 375ºF. Grease bottom and sides of 8-inch square pan with shortening.
2.	Spread apples in pan. In medium bowl, stir remaining ingredients except cream until well mixed; sprinkle over apples. (I always use butter and a pastry blender until the topping is well blended and crumbly.)
3.	Bake about 30 minutes or until topping is golden brown and apples are tender when pierced with a fork. Serve warm with cream.

Feeling Like the White Rabbit

2008-10-17T10:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it feels like our commitments are getting out of control. First off, there are all of those ~~pesky~~ necessary appointments. Dentist*, doctor**, haircut #, car maintenance (which is begging to be made), preschool screening ##, and U of M research lab. So maybe the U of M research isn't so necessary. But that happened to be our appointment for the day. (No, of course I didn't remember to bring that dang camera. Imagine a building that houses a preschool and various rooms for researching childhood development.)

Then there is all of this preschool business. Punky Doodle is in two preschool classes. There's the regular Monday and Wednesday afternoon at the local elementary type preschool. And, then the Saturday morning Chinese Preschool class with dad. So on Monday afternoons I run my errands, usually grocery shopping, while P.D. is in school. And, generally Wednesday afternoons are for Smiley Jo. We lucked out because at 1 pm there is a Baby and Me Drop in Play at the nearby ECFE. Not only is that a rockin' time, but it's free to boot! And, you already know that I love Saturday morning's preschool class. Cause I get to stay home and get caught up around the house without a preschooler's constant demands. Cause I'm telling you, she is usually more demanding than the baby.

I haven't even mentioned gymnastics yet, which we have on Monday evenings. That'll have to be a post for some day, after I remember to bring the camera to one of her classes.

So I've barely done anything with my meetup group in months and unfortunately that isn't likely to change anytime too soon. I just can't seem to fit it in. We used to be so bored and really needed the meetups. Now we barely have time to ~~blog~~ think.

"No time to say 'Hello.' Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late."

*Punky Doodle has her first rendezvous with that dreaded chair *cringe* next week. I seriously need to make an appointment for myself as well. But, as you can tell by the way I rave about the dentist, that one's getting put off as long as possible.
** Smiley Jo had her 6 month check up last week. Everything checked out well. And, amazingly she didn't even cry when she got poked with those annoying vaccine needles.
#Punky Doodle and I went to the salon together last week. We have almost the same do...we could be sisters...er, twins.
## Punky Doodle had her screening last week. Fortunately you only have to do that once. She did great. Average height, good weight (as in, on the skinny side but still healthy). She can see, she can hear and she understands and speaks well.

Miss Me Much?

2008-10-14T11:42:00.002-05:00

Punky Doodle absolutely loves her preschool. How do I know? Check out a recent conversation:

P.D.: I'm not going to miss you at preschool today mom.

Me: That's good. Why not?

P.D.: I'm going to be having too much fun with my friends.

6.0 on the Richter Scale

2008-10-13T10:13:00.013-05:00

We have a very large Ikea shelf filled with legos, books and other miscellaneous toys in Punky Doodle's room. Last week my husband decided to make a tent for P.D. This tent attached to the shelving system, as you can see in the following pictures:

Punky Doodle had a blast sleeping in the tent last Thursday night. Then when my husband came home on Friday afternoon he decided he would take the tent down.

While in the process of dismantling his feat of engineering, Punky Doodle decided that she was going to climb along the jump rope which was holding the tent up. This action led to a very large mess. And, it came very close to being the cause of her mother's first heart attack.

When it was all going down, I was busy in the kitchen getting some homemade baby food freezer ready.* The loud crashes followed by an enormously loud crash and my husband's shouts had me running. I was bounding up the stairs and hyperventilating in no time.

When I got up to the room, the shelf was down. There were toys and books EVERYWHERE. Including all over Smiley Jo. She was buried in legos. My husband immediately pulled her out of the rubble and handed her to me. Then, my husband ran to aid P.D. She was completely under the shelf. My husband was sure she had broken something or was otherwise majorly hurt.

Miraculously, Punky Doodle walked away with only a small scratch on her upper arm. Smiley Jo was fine as well, fortunately she was outside of the path of the crashing shelf. After everyone was rescued I wanted to take a picture of the crash. And, that the shelf was, in fact, attached to the wall. That made the regime (a.k.a. my husband) so angry he almost threw the camera down the stairs. The regime doesn't like the blogarazzi comin' around trying to get good shots. Freedom of the press was denied. So you'll just have to imagine the disaster.

*Making baby food is actually really easy and saves money too. Can't believe I didn't do it when P.D. was a baby. And, let's face it I (practically) have organic vegetables coming out of my eyeballs. Our CSA share provides us with more than enough.

Candy or Art?

2008-10-11T22:36:00.005-05:00

I haven't posted much lately. It's been crazy around here. And, I mean really nuts. I'm exhausted and haven't had the time, energy or motivation to blog like I should. I promise that a bunch of updates and green living tips are coming your way soon. But until then I'll leave you with this anecdote.

Today on the way to my in-laws we stopped at the gas station. Punky Doodle came in with me because she needed to use the restroom. She begged for some candy and I gave in. I allowed her to pick out one not-so-healthy treat. She picked out a box of nerds. Of course, she ended up spilling half of the box all over her car seat. Thanks, P.D. cause little candies are always so fun to clean up.

When we got to my in-laws my father-in-law got a plate for the candies. A little while later P.D. says, "Look a smiley face." Wow. I was impressed.

A Few of Our Favorite Things

2008-10-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

Saturday was a good day. First, my husband and Punky Doodle headed off to her Chinese preschool class. Which was great for me because Smiley Jo took her morning nap, and I had some uninterrupted time to get caught up around the house.

A little while later we headed on over to a favorite place for lunch. Then to a nature center for some favorite activities. Hiking and some geocaching. Never tried it? It's great. It's treasure hunting that makes use of GPS. We were able to find all four of the caches that we were looking for.

Like this one, hidden in a fake rock:

And a couple of nice shots from our hike:

All day long Punky Doodle had a favorite song stuck in her head. Don't be alarmed if you ever hear her say, "I want The Killers." She means she wants to listen to the band. All day she was singing, "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." And, loudly too. While out and about I would remind her, "Don't sing so loudly." All the while thinking, "Rock on, Punky Doodle!"

We also had dinner and dessert at Grandma and Grandpa's. While eating dessert we enjoyed this conversation:

P.D.: Do you know what a rocky road tastes like?

Me: What does it taste like?

P.D.: Delicious!

When the Dog Bites and the Bee Stings

2008-10-02T14:09:00.016-05:00

I'm not really in a writing mood. That's why I haven't posted much these days. I really didn't want to pollute your screen with a bunch of word vomit and foul language. That's how wonderful I'm feeling lately.

It's just that Smiley Jo is still sick, and now Punky Doodle has come down with yet another cold virus. And, that's not all. The days are turning cold and the sun disappears earlier each day. That means the next six (at least) months will be full of hats, coats, snow, heating bills, and dreams of running away to Hawaii. Every winter that I live in Minnesota is a test of endurance for me. The dang summer went so quickly, and I'm really not ready for the cold to begin. So you see, I'm in a funk. I really don't want to be negative. So instead of writing I am going to post some pictures from happier days. I really need to stop.whining.right.now.

Here I am with the first (and only) geocache I found:

Punky Doodle next to a geocache she found with her dad:

All Fortnights Are Not Created Equal

2008-09-26T21:40:00.001-05:00

Did I say week? I guess I actually meant fortnight. The week from hell is turning into two weeks from hell. I won't go into all the ugly details, but suffice it to say that Smiley Jo caught the nasty cold and isn't quite so smiley. My husband did too and was home sick from work today. I'm slowly getting over the cold, but now I have a miserable stomach bug.

I look forward to getting better and being able to write about my favorite topics. But, until then I'll be resting and trying to get better. By the way, if you've got any stay healthy tips* for me, I'll take 'em. Thanks for reading and take care.

*I'll have you know I've been taking extra vitamin C every day and we wash and sanitize our hands...all of the time. Aside from that I really don't know what can be done.

Pearly Whites

2008-09-22T22:14:00.001-05:00

Yes, I said whites. I was wrong in my last post. Last night while feeding Smiley Jo her rice cereal, I noticed it. Another beautiful little chomper.

No wonder she's been crabby. But, I'd say it's better to get two over all at once.

All Weeks Are Not Created Equal

2008-09-20T21:42:00.015-05:00

Seven days. They can feel long, they can feel short, and occasionally they are just the right length.

The majority of weeks are filled with the normalcy of life, and pass by either way too fast or drudgingly slow. Once in a while, you get a week that is awesome. One that will stick in your memory, and for good reason. These, for me at least, are usually vacation weeks.

This week was neither of those. Not normal, not wonderful. Let me share the ~~joy~~ misery* with you.

It started with Punky Doodle catching a cold. Which actually wasn't too awful. The only real awful thing about it was that she shared it with me. And, I seem to have gotten a much stronger case of it. She had a few sniffles, and maybe a sore throat. I've had sniffles that made my nose leak nonstop, a sore throat for days, congestion causing sinus pain so intense that I couldn't sleep, and now I feel the mucous migrating to my lungs.

Another highlight has been Smiley Jo's, not so smiley disposition this week. I wondered if possibly she was coming down with this cold (fortunately, no signs of that as of yet), or maybe she was going through a growth spurt and was just downright hungry. She wasn't napping well at all, was nursing all the time and was crying a lot more than normal, like every time I put her down. Then the problem became apparent on Thursday. A little pearl of white poking out among a sea of pink. One tooth down, nineteen to go.

Last night, I decided to feed Smiley Jo some pear baby food along with her rice cereal. She liked it. All seemed well. She went to sleep pretty well a little later on. Then she woke from that sleep crying. Really crying. I was in the bathroom when the reason for the upset became all too obvious. She puked, and puked, and puked all over my husband, the bed, herself and finally me as I was whisking her off to the bathroom. Poor thing and poor me. I was feeling so tired and miserable myself. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. But instead I got to clean up puke.

Today I have still been suffering with the aforementioned cold. So I've been laying low. But this evening I really didn't feel like cooking and wanted to get out of the house for a few minutes. I was also craving the best mac & cheese around. So my husband kindly took us. We enjoyed our dinner, though I could barely taste mine. Then we went to leave and, lo and behold, the car had a flat tire.

So, how was your week?

*Misery does love company, you know.

I Heart Berry Picking

2008-09-18T21:28:00.007-05:00

Turns out that our local strawberry patch is also our local raspberry patch. So yesterday we went over to Sam Kedem's again. It was a beautiful, sunny, and warm fall day. It was perfect for berry picking. Of course I forgot the camera. I was kicking myself. The chickens were running around looking fabulous. As free range, organic chickens should. And, the raspberry bushes weren't too bad looking either.

Sorry, but you'll have to make due with this one lousy picture taken at home:

I'm thinking that I really should learn how to make that jam now. After all I have pounds of strawberries in the freezer...just waiting to be transformed.

Given Birth Lately?

2008-09-16T21:55:00.002-05:00

Want to help other mothers to have a rewarding birth experience? If you've given birth in the last three years, please check out The Birth Survey. Give your feedback and help other moms and moms to be.

Thank you, Jennifer, for the heads up and all of the time and effort that you put into this project!

Drowning In It

2008-09-13T10:41:00.009-05:00

Ugh. The mail. Especially all of the junk mail. Please, just make it stop!

I mean, really I just don't have time to sort through all of it. And, what a waste! I'd say 80% of it ends up shredded or recycled.

I will say I have been partly to blame here. I have been ~~very~~ slightly hesitant to sign up for paperless statements. But, after a very busy week and piles of mail everywhere I've decided to make that change. I can always go back to all of the extra mail if it doesn't work out. But I'm thinking it will really be fine. I'll just print out my statements and I really shouldn't miss any. Not with the amount of time I spend checking my email. That way just one piece of paper gets used. No extra envelopes, ads or stupid checks that I am never going to use. (Anybody know how to get the credit card companies to stop sending those things?)

Another thing I found is called Catalog Choice. You can get them to stop sending catalogs that you don't want. So I am in the process of unsubscribing from those as well. Do your mailbox, your mail carrier, and your earth a favor, check it out.

And, yes that is a Bibelot ad on top. And, yes they are most definitely having a sale this weekend.

H.L.T.

2008-09-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

That stands for halloumi, lettuce and tomato. It's our vegetarian version of the better known B.L.T. You just cut the cheese into strips and then fry it (without oil) in the pan. Add a little bread, mayo, tomato, and lettuce.* Voilà! You have this delicious sandwich!

*So the lettuce isn't pictured. Just imagine it there.

It's Official

2008-09-09T16:08:00.005-05:00

Punky Doodle is growing up on me. I can't believe she is less than two months away from turning four, or that she had her first day of preschool yesterday.

Change of Scenery

2008-09-07T22:46:00.007-05:00

So I have been wanting a change of blog design since the beginning of the summer. Here we are, it is already fall, and nothing.

I was hoping to do it before vacation. Nope, got sick. Then I was hoping to do it during our vacation. Nope, too busy.* I've been meaning to do it since we got back from vacation. Nope, still insanely busy.**

What we have here today is just temporary. I am going to fix it up nice and perdy like. Don't you worry!***

* I found out that vacation with two small children is actually more work than our everyday life.
** When you live in Minnesota you've got to cram every fun, outdoor thing in before the winter hits.
***But in the sad case that it takes a while longer, I'll have you know that I am in the process of negotiating help with my design. As soon as my husband is done with his huge Lego project, I am sure he'll want to help me with his mad skills, right? (Right, hon? Honey? Baby? Darling? Love?)

They Say She's Lacking in Experience

2008-09-05T13:54:00.005-05:00

That is probably true. I say the bigger problem is Sarah Palin's lack of empathy for our earth and some of the animals on it. She comes across as someone who thinks that humans are the most important species on the earth. Dangerous and unethical thinking, in my opinion.

This type of thinking leads to the following stances:

She is for drilling in ANWR. She is for ruining beautiful, pristine Alaskan wilderness. Why? Oil, of course.*

She doesn't want the polar bear on the endangered species list. And, now the state of Alaska is suing because they want the polar bear taken off of the threatened species list. Why? Because those pesky bears live where they want to develop for oil and gas.**

She's against protecting beluga whales in Cook Inlet. Why? Again, we find pesky nonhuman animals living there. And, they need to develop for oil and gas there.*

When asked about global warming, Sarah Palin responded this way, "A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made."# What?! This is the type of thinking that encourages humans to continue doing whatever they want at the expense of our planet.

* Bryan Walsh (2008-09-01). "Palin on the Environment: Far Right". Time.
** Joling, Dan (Associated Press) (2008-05-22). "State will sue over Polar Bear Listing, Palin says", Anchorage Daily News.
# Coppock, Mike (2008-08-29). "Palin Speaks to Newsmax About McCain, Abortion, Climate Change", Newsmax.

I Still Hate Swimsuit Season

2008-09-02T21:07:00.010-05:00

Some of my friends had a great idea. Let's have a weight loss challenge. Everyone gets to pitch in five bucks and the biggest loser gets a prize at the end. I thought, hey I could lose some weight, and sure I'd like to win a prize. After all my recent pregnancy did leave me with that lovely present of a flabby midsection and the inability to fit into any of my pre-preggo pants. So I had no choice, I was in.

The competition recently ended and I was the biggest loser. No, I didn't lose the most weight and win the competition. I really was the loser. Out of five women I did the worst. I actually *gained* weight during the challenge.

So now I've got some advice, for those of you thinking of joining some friends in a friendly, little weight loss competition. First, don't start out by having the stomach flu the weekend before the first weigh in. Second, don't go on vacation and eat it up during the challenge.

I'm a little depressed about it all. So I am motivated to make a change now. For real. None of this messin' around, saying that my diet and exercise regimen starts tomorrow. It's starting now! Operation Pedometer is in effect. That means at least 10,000 steps a day.

So the end of the competition and being on the rock bottom has motivated me more than the chance of winning the prize ever did. At least it was good for something.

Future Guacamole Lover?

2008-08-31T09:39:00.009-05:00

Smiley Jo is now five months old. (I know, how did that happen?) Five months was the age we started Punky Doodle on rice cereal. So we decided to feed Smiley Jo her first meal of ~~totally mashed up and soupy food~~ solid food. We decided to let her try some of the lovely avocado from our CSA fruit share.

Sorry, baby. Maybe you won't be a guac lover after all.

Tell it All in Six Words

2008-08-29T22:11:00.009-05:00

I learned about a book filled with six word memoirs through one of my favorite sites, PostSecret. This got me wondering. What should mine be?

Here are a few I came up with:

Loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.

Religious upbringing. Quarter-life crisis. Moving on.

Motherhood, this life's no longer mine.

Only dreamt myself around the world.

I've always wanted to be more.

What would yours be? I am so curious. Please share.

Fun Day on a Stick

2008-08-26T21:42:00.008-05:00

We made it to The Great Minnesota Get Together yesterday. It was a perfect day at the fair. The weather was great. The food was delicious. We even got to see Brandi Carlile perform, and it was a free concert! But, that's not all. I think we had some good karma (or Punky Doodle did at least) because we had two different people hand us their leftover ride tickets. Which meant P.D. got to go on two extra rides. Then right before heading over to see the awesome Brandi Carlile performance, someone gave her a big squishy bear. You know, the ones that you get from playing those ridiculously hard, waste of money games all day. It wasn't as big as my husband or anything, but it's a good size, her biggest bear yet. She was all smiles and was hugging it like crazy.

But, really Punky Doodle absolutely loved everything about it. Here's some pictures to prove it: