Finally Feeling at Peace

So there's egg on my face and I really don't care. I had to let go of my petty feelings. I made a mistake. I had to admit that. Then I had to try my best to fix it.

Doodle had a great year in Kindergarten last year. The only downside was our drive. And driving is one of my least favorite things. It makes me very anxious. Especially when there is snow on the ground. And, truthfully, I am not the best driver. So I made the decision, over the summer, to transfer her to a closer school. Switching to this other school saved me ten minutes each way. Which amounts to chauffeuring forty minutes less per school day. Also, the closer school, starts twenty minutes later in the morning. Giving us thirty glorious minutes of extra sleep each morning. (We aren't morning people here.)

It seemed like a wonderful second option, but then school started. And it became glaringly obvious, with each passing day, that the only advantages at the new school were the ones mentioned above. And they are truly selfish benefits. Selfish benefits which are easy to forfeit now that I know what's at stake. I really want school to be a positive experience for Miss Doodle. Last year there were no concerns, she did very well and she had classmates who treated her well. Almost everyday there was a new concern or problem at the closer school. It was causing a huge amount of stress for myself, my husband, and our daughter.

We were told that the two curriculums were the same, but they aren't really. Or, at least, the way the curriculums are implemented is drastically different. Miss Doodle was taught and assessed on 100 Chinese characters in Kindergarten. The Kindergartners at the closer school had been taught and assessed on 150. Also Miss Doodle was in a half day program last year. The closer school has no half day option, so they were all immersed in Chinese for hours longer, each day in Kindergarten. This made it so that she was behind in their program.* We were trying to catch up and even hired a tutor. We were also working with her as much as possible at home. Unfortunately, being behind was not the only problem. If it had been we would have stuck it out and she would have eventually caught up.

Another concern was the class size. At the closer school her class was made up of twenty-eight students. At the other school she is in a class of nineteen.

I, naively, didn't realize how much she would be singled out because of being new. It’s first grade, not middle school. I thought we were still safe because only one year had passed. Wrong! There were students sitting at her table (Whatever happened to having your own desk?) who were treating her very poorly. For instance, calling her artwork ugly. And when confronted by the teacher about this behavior the one girl lied saying, “I was saying something nice about it to her in Chinese and she didn’t understand.” Um, no. Miss Doodle was sure that she had said it was ugly in English. After believing the lies, the teacher had no plans to move her to a new table, as we had requested. There was also an incident where a group of girls started being mean to her after she made the comment that she doesn’t believe in a deity. And those examples are just a small sampling of the mistreatment she was receiving there.

We also felt that the teacher was singling her out. She kept saying she didn’t want it to become a snowball effect, but it felt like the teacher kept making the snowball larger. She even put Miss Doodle on a listening chart, because she felt she wasn’t paying attention enough. Maybe she wasn’t, but give the girl some time to adjust to the new school and new words that she doesn’t understand. Of course, Miss Doodle was doing great as soon as she was put on the chart. So did she really need to be on a chart? Or did she just need some understanding and time to settle in? Then as soon as she was paying attention well the teacher started complaining that Doodle wasn’t participating frequently enough. It was getting ridiculous. Every day a new issue to work on.

Another issue which I thought was figured out before the transfer was the High Potential program. They assured me that Doodle would be in their gifted & talented program, as she was going to be at the other school. Then once school started the person in charge of that program changed her tune. Saying that she’d have to talk to the teacher. I was very upset by this because I was adamant with them on this point, saying I would not transfer her until I got a definite answer. And I know that the Regime felt that it was a deal breaker as well.

Obviously, I was really hoping the switch would work out because it was more convenient for our family, but I am willing to put up with the extra inconvenience when it means a better situation for my daughter. Switching her back wasn’t a totally altruistic decision though. All of these school issues were very hard on my marriage. The Regime was angry, to put it lightly. And guess who was responsible and to blame, yep, me. All me. I assure you that he had no problem directing all of his frustrations in my direction. I am glad to report that he is much calmer now. And after Doodle's first day of going back to last year’s school she said, “I feel like I am back home.” That says it all.



*Why they didn't think to assess her until after school started still boggles my mind. If they'd done it before we would've known not to transfer her. I even had one lady at the closer school tell me that she might have to go back to Kindergarten. Seriously. This girl tested very well on the NWEAs and IQ test and you are going to suggest that. Ludicrous. At that point I responded with, "No. I would switch her back."

Here and There In All Sorts of Weather

Last Saturday my sister Cassie, and my mom made the trek to snowy Minnesota. As luck would have it, they were followed in by a cold, black cloud. The sky decided to dump inches and inches of wet, heavy* snow on the exact morning that they were scheduled to arrive. It was our first snow of the season. Just a few days beforehand we had been enjoying a balmy high of 68 degrees. (Looks like we won't see that again until spring.)

Due to the snowstorm they were unable to land once they arrived in Minnesota. So the plane had to turn around and go back to Wisconsin. They landed in Milwaukee to refuel before trying to land at the Minneapolis airport again. Fortunately, the second attempt was a success and they were here safe, just a few hours later than originally expected.



After picking them up at the airport we made a trip to the Mall of America where we ate a late lunch, did a little shopping, and had fun testing makeup, perfume, and nail polish at Sephora.**

On Sunday we decided to check out the Waterpark of America. (I managed to get four free tickets in the summer, and I'd been saving them up for a special day.) I found out that the water park isn't open as often as I'd originally thought.# And Sunday was our only option. So we had a great, albeit quick visit to the water park. It was loads of fun. For most of us. Not so much for my mom. That black cloud of misfortune was still following her. My mom's dog of thirteen years was failing. In fact he wasn't doing well before she left, and she'd taken him to a vet ahead of her leaving town. The vet had misdiagnosed his condition. He'd told her it was bronchitis, when it was actually heart failure. Thankfully my other two (awesome!) sisters were there with him when he passed. Thanks again to both of them for being there for mom, and for Daggle. He was a wonderful, smart dog, and he will be greatly missed. (By me, as well. After all, he was the puppy I had to have. And I helped train him and care for him before I got married, and moved out.)

On Monday evening we enjoyed a delicious dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's home. My mom was very glad to spend some quality time with her older brother and her sister-in-law. Thanks again to Marv and Deb for their hospitality.

On Tuesday, we received a visit from my Aunt Deb and her daughter (my cousin), and her kids. My cousin also has two little girls. Bug and her oldest are only two days apart. So they had a great time playing upstairs in our toy room.

Tuesday night was a scheduled facial for me, and my sister at the Aveda Institute. It was better than wonderful. And I left feeling über relaxed, and happy. (I really need to treat myself to such pampering more often.) Luckily, the night was still young when we got back. So The Regime and I enjoyed an opportunity to go on a date. (First time in many months.) Thanks again to my mom and sister for watching the girls for us.




(Can you spot the one who wasn't in a picture taking mood?)

Wednesday was their departure day. We had to drop our guests off at the airport right before getting Miss Doodle to her afternoon Kindergarten class. But before sending them on their way, we squeezed in an important hair appointment that morning. Miss Doodle had been growing her hair out for two years. She'd wanted to donate it to Locks of Love for some time. Her hair was finally long enough, and she really wanted to cut it during their visit. She got a super cute bob, and I couldn't be prouder of her. She is such a kind and thoughtful girl. After the hair cut we enjoyed brunch at The Original Pancake House. The restaurant serves gluten free pancakes which my mom, who is allergic to wheat, was able to enjoy. I was glad that, although a black cloud had followed them in, they were able to leave amidst sunny skies.

*The snow was so heavy that tree branches all around were cracking and falling to the ground. Including the very large pile of evergreen branches that landed in our front yard.

**This happens to be one of Auntie Cass's favorite stores. I'm sure my fancy girlie girls can understand why.

#They were only open from 10 am - 2 pm on Sunday, and were closed all day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Better Luck Next Time

Saying goodbye is never easy. Today's farewell was no exception. We returned Teddy the dog to the rescue group. I was crying quite a lot, and continue to. It was difficult, and I'm sad.

Although we only had him for two and a half months, I got attached. When I adopted him in August, I had hoped that ours would be his forever home. Of course at that time I was under the impression that he was house trained. After he was here I started finding pee everywhere. On Bug's toddler bed, on the bath mat, on books, on the floor, on clothes, etc. I never once caught him in the act. Always found it after the fact, which made it hard to show him that it wasn't okay. He would also poop on the floor from time to time. Most of the time that he was living with us he had to be gated off in the living room, because I couldn't trust him anywhere. He would never bark to go outside so I would always let him out at regular intervals, hoping to avoid a mess. I even tried to teach him with a bell but he wouldn't go near it.

The truth is that I get distracted by the kids (mostly the crazy two year old), a lot. And we are busier than ever now that school is in session. (Did I mention that we have to drive about twenty minutes just to get to school?) So I wasn't feeling up for the challenge. It also seems like I lack the discipline needed to get Teddy to stop his behavior. I kept thinking he was doing better and then he would prove me all wrong.

My husband is not a dog person. Absolutely not. I often tell him, jokingly, that he was a cat in his last life. Maybe he was and he's held on to the animosity. Deep down I had hoped that Teddy would be the dog to change his mind. The one to push him over to the other side. Of course, he absolutely was not. A dog would have to have absolutely zero behavior problems, and even then it probably wouldn't change his opinion. He just thinks that dogs are stinky, filthy and gross. And having one that peed and pooped in the house regularly only strengthened this argument. (Not at all what I was aiming for.)

I grew up having pets. Always a cat and a dog. As well as some shorter lived experiences with animals like fish, a guinea pig, and mice. The Regime on the other hand grew up in an apartment with no furry pets. (Turns out he had fish at one time.) I am sure this is the reason for our differing points of view.

Since I had pets and enjoyed them during my childhood, I wanted my kids to have pets and enjoy them too. So far I am striking out in that department, and I'm scared to try again. I know that my husband doesn't see it like I do. He believes it is unethical to own a pet. And I know that he likes cats much better than dogs. In fact we had a cat for five years, earlier in our marriage and he seemed to like her fine. Or at least he didn't complain about her presence all of the time, and refuse to sit anywhere she'd sat.

But you never know. Maybe one day far in the future, once I've lost my mind again, and accidentally wandered onto Petfinder, I'll stumble across that perfect pet. And hopefully I'll be smart enough to only look at the cats.

Huge Sigh of Relief

When I called Wednesday morning to get some answers, I asked if I could get an appointment this week. Fortunately, someone cancelled their Friday afternoon appointment with the doctor I see. And the timing was perfect because I could drop Miss Doodle off at school, and still have enough time to get there. So I snatched it up. I still hadn't heard anything back after my last test, and I didn't want to wait two more weeks for the appointment, which I had scheduled before the MRIs were done. (Also my mom and sister will be visiting at that time. Who wants to go to the doctor when they have company in town?)

Turns out it was just a big scare. No real reason to worry. I found out that the anatomy of my brain is slightly different from the norm. I have an extra blood vessel. This is what caused the first MRI to look off. The doctor also mentioned that the way one of my sinuses is situated added to the confusion. Fortunately for me they were able to get a better look with the MRA, and I'm in the clear.

Phew! I really lucked out. I'm so happy I don't have to think about it anymore, and I don't have to have more tests or procedures.

Now to get back to cleaning my house. My mom and sister will be here in one short week!

Lying in Wait

As they say, "No news, is good news." And in my case it seems to be true.

When I talked with my doctor last week she informed me that they aren't worried about the cyst. It is small, benign, and they don't think it is causing my headaches. Therefore they're going to let it be.

They were still concerned with the irregular blood vessel. So I had to have another MRI. To be more specific it is called an MRA. It allows them to get a better picture of the blood vessels.

I had my appointment last Friday and it was even easier than the first MRI. It only took ten minutes or so, and I didn't have to have an IV. Piece of cake. And I thought it was fitting when the song, "Chasing Cars" came on while I had to, well, just lay there.

I still haven't heard from my doctor about the results of this test. So I have to assume that there is nothing major going on in my brain. Of course I'm still curious about the results. I meant to call today, but was too busy. Looks like a phone call to the doctor's office is on the top of my to do list for tomorrow.

In other news, my mom and sister are coming to visit in two weeks.